Monday, January 31, 2011

No Pain, No Gain - Really?



I have mixed feelings about the motto "No pain, no gain."  I understand the premise of the statement.  In the world of exercise, you're going to experience gains if you're willing to endure the discomforts of challenging yourself with hard work.  Exercise isn't meant to be easy.  The whole premise is that you're breaking down your body so that it can be built up stronger.  Building muscles involves putting your body under stress as you create tiny tears in the muscles through the act of lifting progressively heavier weights.  In this case, you aren't going to gain anything from your workout unless you're experiencing the pain associated with physical stress and strain, perpetual wear and tear. 

However, if we define pain as "physical suffering or distress due to injury or illness," then experiencing pain is not going to lead to any kind of gain.  Too often, I see people pushing through an injury.  In my opinion, this can hinder the quality of your workout and undermine your body's healing process.  The consequence can be an enduring injury that takes much longer to recover from.  There's also a psychological toll that comes with a long-term injury - it wears you down, frustrates you, and can undermine your confidence in being able to tackle an activity.  Sometimes, perhaps in response to this, there's a tendency to act tough and "bulldoze" your way through pain.  As if just pushing through the pain will make it go away, like something to be conquered.  I refer to this as adopting a Rambo mentality.  Just remember that Rambo is a character in a movie, not a real person.  Generally speaking, when the pain is injury-related there's a certain point where you shouldn't push further.  Doing so aggravates the injury you've already got and can lead to additional injuries as you try to compensate. 

But what about professional athletes?  They play through all kinds of injuries.  Sure, but they're also under the care of a whole team of physicians, trainers, and physical therapists, they're physically at a level of conditioning different from everyday people, and they're PAID to play through the pain.  That doesn't mean that they should be out on the field in that condition, just that their paychecks are requiring that they be out there. 

I prefer to approach exercise with the philosophy of "No pains, no gains." In this case, "pains" are defined as "laborious or careful efforts."  Exercise is a labor; it demands effort.  But exercise also demands thoughtful planning.  If you push too hard one day, your body's going to rebel the next.  If you don't push hard enough, your body's not going to experience any gains (imagine the expectation of building biceps just by curling your arms without any weights).

 Everyday, I calibrate my workouts to where I'm at that day.  I have my standard workout, which I expect to be able to do on a typical day.  Some days I'm able to push myself further, say by doing 90 minutes on the stairmill.  Some days I need to take it a bit easier, say by doing level 2 or level 3 on the elliptical.  I need to be able to differentiate between "distress due to injury" and "stress due to challenging" - sometimes it can be hard to tell the difference.  Exercise isn't supposed to be suffering or torturous, but it isn't supposed to be a cakewalk either.  

I may be tough, but I'm no Rambo!

Food Log: 
  • Meal 1 
    • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa 
  • Meal 2
    • 2oz chicken
    • Green beans 
  • Meal 3
    • Tablespoon of peanut butter 
  • Meal 4
    • 4oz chicken
    • Green beans
  • Meal 5
    • Protein shake
    • Tablespoon of peanut butter
Exercise: 
  • Time:  60 minutes
  • Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute, Level 4 for 58, Level 1 for 1 minute
  • Calories: 650 calories
Today's Weigh-In:  143.4

    Sunday, January 30, 2011

    On The Defensive

    Sometimes I feel as though I'm defending my food and fitness choices to other people.  So I ask you:
    • If I kept Kosher, would you ask me to justify why I don't eat bacon?  Would you be telling me that I should eat pork or that there's something wrong with my excluding it from my diet?
    • If I were a recovering alcoholic, would you question my decision to not imbibe?  Would you encourage me to have just one drink?  After all, what's the harm of just one?
    • If I had diabetes, would you ask about my blood glucose levels?  Would you imply that I'm being overly rigid by turning down the slice of cake for dessert?  Couldn't I balance it out with some medication or something?
    • If I could experience an allergic reaction to a particular food, would you question my vigilance when asking about an item on the menu?  Would you downplay the experience of anaphylaxis?  Maybe you'd think that I just being picky and saying it's an allergy?
    • If I were vegan, would you challenge my choice to not consume, use, or eat any animal products?  Would you insist that I couldn't be healthy or meet my nutritional needs by eating this way?  Would you make assumptions about my political views based solely on that?
    • If I were Mormon, would you examine my abstaining from caffeine and alcohol?  Would you try to serve me something with caffeine or alcohol, to see if you could pull one over on me?
    • If I were Hindu, would you undermine my refraining from eating beef?  Would you challenge my belief that the cow is sacred and can't be eaten?
    These are just some of the circumstances I could think of where, more often than not, people would accept an individual's dietary guidelines and not ask any questions.  Or perhaps they might ask questions, but along the lines of "How is vegan different from vegetarian?" Or "Is decaf tea okay or does it need to be herbal tea?" There's a difference between curiosity and challenging.  I'm very receptive to people who want to understand why particular choices are made and who ask questions as a way of furthering this understanding.  But I have less patience when these questions cross the line and adopt a critical tone.

    So why do some people think it's okay to question and challenge my dietary choices?  If they're not my medical doctor or nutritionist, what standing do they have to pass judgment on my menu options?  Is there really such a difference between choices made based on religious beliefs or health needs and the choices that I make?  They're all driven by similar things: choosing foods that nurture the body, eschewing those that don't.  Some choices are more clearing identifiable - the diabetic can measure the impact that different foods have on blood sugar, the alcoholic can experience (or be told about) the impaired judgment and disruptive behaviors.  Other choices are accepted as a demonstration of one's faith, something that is rarely challenged.

    I could talk about how fitness is my religion and my body is my temple, but I'd have a hard time keeping a straight face.  I would definitely expect some eye-rolling and snickering in that conversation.  While health and fitness are important to me, but I wouldn't escalate them to the level of a religion.  With that in mind, I would ask that my "belief system" be respected, even if it's something that other people don't hold to or believe in themselves.

    I'm very open about my eating and exercising, but I'm not looking to convert anyone.  I'm happy to explain my choices to others, but I'm not going door-to-door looking to share the "Good Food" with my neighbors.  The results from my choices and action are quite apparent, but I'm not standing out on a street corner, proselytizing about the power of clean eating.

    How would interactions be different if people took a minute and consider the other side of the conversation?  What if they questioned their motivation for approaching the topic and asking these things?  What if they were attentive to their word choices, tone, and attitude?  I'm not saying that other people are entirely responsible for my feeling as though I'm on the defensive.  Some of it is also related to my own insecurities and sensitivities.  But I do think that people in general more receptive to a discussion when it feels like a conversation as opposed to a judging.

    So you want to know what's going on?  Let's talk about it.

    Food Log: 
    • Meal 1 
      • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa 
    • Meal 2
      • 2oz chicken
      • Green beans 
    • Meal 3
      • Tablespoon of peanut butter 
    • Meal 4
      • 4oz chicken
      • Asparagus
    • Meal 5
      • Protein shake 
      • Tablespoon of peanut butter
    Exercise: 
    • Time:  60 minutes total-body workout with the trainer
    • Calories:  375+
    Today's Weigh-In: 142.6

      Saturday, January 29, 2011

      2011 - Week 4 In Review

      Twenty-eight into 2011 and I feel like I've got my groove back.  That's almost 8% of the year under my belt, which is a little disturbing when I think about it.  Where is 2011 going?  So far, I'd say it's going in a pretty good direction.  My schedule was a bit thrown with the weather, having 2 snow days, but I didn't allow that to take me off track.  Here's my take on the week:
      • Weight
        • Starting Weight: 153.8
        • Last Week's Weight: 144.6
        • Today's Weight: 143.8
        • Weight Loss (This Week): 0.8
        • Weight Loss (Total 2011): 10.0
        • Review:  No real shocks or surprises with my weight this week.  It's continuing to head down at a gradual pace, and that's the best way to do it.  I'm re-establishing behaviors and food choices that I can maintain on a long-term basis and the scale reflects that.
        • Prediction: I'd like to see the scale break 143 this week, keeping with the trend from the last few weeks, but I'm not going to get my hopes up too high for it.  As I'll describe below, I may not be able to get as much exercise in over the next week which would then have an impact on the larger picture.
      • Exercise
        • Days of Exercise: 6
        • The one day off was a planned skip.
        • Stayed on target with calories burned.
        • Review: Weight-lifting felt really good last Sunday.  I enjoyed my cardio, but was sorely tempted to skip a day here and there.  I'm glad I was able to get my late-night cardio on Tuesday evening.  Also, it was a good decision to exercise on Thursday (my planned off day) because I really didn't feel like getting on the elliptical Friday evening.
        • Prediction: This next week is going to be tough, but I'll see what all I can pull together.  I have three days in a row that start earlier in the morning (10am) and run until late at night (8pm, 9pm, and 10pm).  I'll plan to take Thursday off, as it's the last of those three days and the longest.  If I take off another one of those days, I'll compensate for it by extending some of my other cardio days.
      • Eating
        • Days of Clean Eating: 7
        • Review: Given the snow days and extra time around the house this week, I'm proud of myself for staying on-plan all week.  A motivator for this was a cheat meal planned for this evening, but our plans got canceled so I decided to stick with eating clean.  During the week, I baked a batch of cookies as a thank you for our neighbor who shoveled our walk - and I didn't eat any of it, not even a nibblet of dough!  I also baked a devil's food cake for a co-worker's last day at the office.  There was the cake with strawberry filling and homemade chocolate icing.  Again, no sampling while I prepared and assembled it.  I even turned down a slice while at work.  The cake got RAVE reviews, but I wasn't tempted because I had anticipated a dessert tonight.  But I'm not down about missing on the cheat (though I really would have liked to see my friends!).  Instead, I'm "saving" the cheat for next weekend when we'll be celebrating a friend's birthday.  The opportunity for a cheat always comes up.
        • Prediction: Next Saturday will probably be a cheat dinner, celebrating a friend's birthday.  Other than that, I don't see why meals wouldn't go according to plan.  I do have 3 very busy days at work (thanks to this past week's snow), so I want to make sure there's time in there for my meals.  When I'm busy, I'm less likely to graze but I'm also less likely to eat regularly.  When that happens, I can suddenly find myself ravenous and cranky - which is when I'm more likely to say "screw it" and eat whatever is in front of me.
      • Overall
        • I'm pretty happy with how things have been going.  It's nice to see continuing progress without getting too stressed about it.  I think that having the protein shakes before bed has helped me sleep better.  It's not uncommon for me to wake-up during the night to use the bathroom (a gallon a day will do that to you), but there were times when I just couldn't fall back asleep.  Having something to drink would generally help, which I think was an indicator that my stomach needed something in it.  The protein shakes before bed are also doing the trick, and they help round-out my food for the day.
      Food Log:
      • Meal 1
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa
      • Meal 2
        • 2oz chicken
      • Meal 3 
        • 4oz chicken
        • Asparagus
        • Tablespoon of peanut butter
      • Meal 4
        •  Protein Shake
      Exercise:
      • Time: 60 minutes
      • Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute, Level 4 for 58 minutes, Level 1 for 1 minute
      • Calories: 650+
      • Distance: Just over 5 miles
      Today's Weigh-In: 143.8

      Friday, January 28, 2011

      Preparing For My "Show"

      Why do I do this?  What drives me each day?  What am I moving toward?  Is there a deadline that I'm pushing toward?

      My trainer has spent the last few years trying to convince me to participate in a figure competition.  It's not to the level of body building, but it's a step up from a bikini contest.  As a t-shirt on CafePress.com put it: Dumbbells, Fake Tan, and Hooker Heels.  While I like the idea of being ABLE to walk on stage in a sequined posing suit and know that I look good, that's not something that I'm comfortable with actually doing.  I'm already quite critical of myself, I don't need a panel of judges evaluating me and comparing me to others.

      I'm definitely flattered that my trainer thinks I could do a competition.  Also, I've been asked if I'm preparing for a show by other trainers and by other attendees when I was in the audience at a body building competition.  While I'm not going to participate in a body building or physique show, I have found that a deadline in the relatively near future can be a great motivator.  So I create "shows" of my own that I work toward. 

      In June 2009, I had my first "show" - a specific deadline with a goal of getting in the best possible shape.  It was meeting New Kids on the Block (my favorite boy band) at their concert.  My trainer and I conceptualized this as my "show" as I'd be in their presence for about 5 minutes, the average length of a posing routine.  My goal was to be the most fit lady in the room, and I think I did pretty well with that effort:


      The best part of that experience (besides standing next to Donnie) was getting my trainer involved in the motivational effort.  It was certainly the most entertaining!  If he wanted me to do five more reps, I "made" him call out the names of each New Kid, one for each rep.  I just laughed as he struggled to come up with the names ("Bobby, right? Uh, Stevie? I know it's a name that ends in Y or IE!).  Then he'd announce "Give me two more for Donnie!"  I even thought of having that printed on a t-shirt, given the frequency with which we used that phrase.  Then, whenever I made the next mini-goal with weight loss, I'd come to the next training session wearing that "Cover Girl" tank top.

      When I'm having a tough time motivating myself, I remind myself of the up-coming event.  I think about how I want to look and how I want to feel about myself at that time.  Leading up to the concert in 2009, I had my "Cover Girl" tank top hanging in the bathroom so I would see it everyday.  Then, by the time the concert rolled around....

      That was over 18 months ago.  This year, I'll be pulling out the "Cover Girl" tank again with another New Kids Meet and Greet opportunity in June.  I'm currently around the same weight and in better shape.  I'm tighter and more solidly packed with better muscle definition.  So I can just imagine how I'll look in 4 months at the next concert!

      After the concert, my next "shows" are when my husband and I are renewing our vows in July, and when we take our annual beach trip in September.  There may not be a formal show, but when I think about it, the world's a stage and many people out there are judging me....

      Food Log
      • Meal 1
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa
      • Meal 2
        • 2oz chicken
        • Green beans
      • Meal 3
        • 4oz chicken
        • French beans
        • Tablespoon of peanut butter
      • Meal 4
        • Protein shake
      Exercise:  None (planned) 
      Today's Weigh-In: 143.8

      Thursday, January 27, 2011

      A Look Inside My Freezer




      I've thought about getting a stand-alone freezer in the basement, since it often seems as though our freezer is bursting at the seams!  Here's what I've got packed in there.


      • Left to Right
        • Bags of frozen veggies
        • Ground turkey in tomato sauce (for my husband's spaghetti)
        • Frozen burrito
        • Bagel
        • Naan (for when my husband wants some bread with dinner)
        • Popcorn shrimp (for my husband's non-chicken meals)
        • Lean Cuisine meals (for my husband's lunches)
        • Skinny Cow light ice cream cones (for my husband's dessert)
        • Bag of chicken breasts (emergency back-up chicken)



      • Left to Right
        • Bags of frozen veggies
        • Shrimp (for my husband's non-chicken meals)
        • Mussels (for my husband's non-chicken meals)
        • Tilapia (for my husband's non-chicken meals)
        • Mahi Mahi (for my husband's non-chicken meals)
        • Bagels (a weekend breakfast for my husband)
        • Breaded butterfly shrimp (for a handy non-chicken dinner)
        • Steam-in-bag rice (great for when I make my husband fried rice)
        • Spring rolls (to go with any at-home Chinese food I make for my husband)
        • Mini quiches (leftover from a party)
      I love the convenience of "steam-in-the-bag" veggies!  Dinner (or lunch) is ready in 7 minutes, when I throw one of those bags in the microwave.    While I don't eat seafood, frozen shrimp are super easy to defrost and throw in with pasta sauce.  What I have learned is that some cooked and peeled shrimp still have their tails on - unfortunately I've learned this after tossing them with the pasta sauce.  Trader Joe's carries frozen, cooked, fully peeled and de-tailed shrimp that are great for putting in with pasta, turning into shrimp fried rice, or seasoning for shrimp tacos.  When I'm running late in the morning and don't have time to pack our lunches, I'll give my husband a Lean Cuisine meal.  There's more variety than the same old turkey sandwich and they don't go bad.  A great emergency back-up plan!

      I've been trying really hard to not let foods linger in the limbo of the freezer.  Sometimes it's too easy for things to get hidden in the back or overlooked for newer purchases.  I may be reluctant to defrost some fish because it may not get cooked up right away.  Life does happen and I hate to be wasteful and throw out food because of an unexpected late night at work or a chance to eat out with friends.  I think one of my challenges for this year will be to methodically work through the oft-avoided frozen items and make it a priority to prepare them.


      Food Log:
      • Meal 1
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa
      • Meal 2
        • 2oz chicken
        • Green beans
      • Meal 3
        • 2oz chicken
        • Tablespoon of peanut butter
      • Meal 4
        • 4oz chicken
        • Green beans
      • Meal 5
        • Protein shake
      Exercise:
      • Time: 60 minutes on elliptical
      • Level: Level 1 for 1 minute, Level 3 for 58 minutes (at average speed of 5.6), Level 1 for 1 minuteCalories:  700+
      I had planned on taking today off from exercise.  Since it was a "snow day" and I was home, I opted to workout.  That way I don't feel pressured to get my cardio in tomorrow when I'm also dealing with the chaos of returning to the office.
       
      Today's Weigh-In: 144.1

      Wednesday, January 26, 2011

      The Unintended Losses Associated With Weight Loss

      When undertaking a new fitness and nutrition effort, the most obvious loss is pounds.  The scale goes down.  But there are a number of other losses associated with this process that aren't always anticipated and aren't always welcomed.

      It may sound silly or superficial, but there are a lot of clothes that I loved to wear that I just can't wear anymore.  They just don't fit my new body properly.  Slacks sit low on my hips, with the attractive "dropped crotch" look.  Skirts are a little better, but they then hit at an awkward spot and just aren't as flattering.  I did have somethings altered, but clothes can only be altered so much.  My pants looked like they had "wings" where my hips should have been.  For example, I LOVE this skirt but can't really wear it anymore:
      I think I've had it taken in once already.  It's just tough to resize because of the pleating that's sewn-in and sometimes the altered clothes just don't fit the same way.  I'm not going to pay to have something entirely reconstructed when I could buy something new for the same price.  And there is the plus side that I've gotten to buy new clothes.  I remind myself that clothes can always be replaced and repurchased.  I've held onto some of my larger clothes - in case I regain weight, for possible maternity clothes, or to share with friends instead of donating (which I do with the majority of my clothes).  When I complain about my clothes not fitting me anymore, my husband's loving and sensitive response is often "So get fat again."  (Gotta love that guy!)

      There might be fewer invitations for getting together with friends.  They may assume that I'll turn down a night out because it's "unclean" eating or because I'd rather exercise.  Not true!  I prefer to know about plans in advance, but that's just because that's my personality (though I do try to fly by the seat of my pants sometimes).  So I make an effort to accept the invitations that come my way and to extend a number of invitations myself.  I figure that I can show others that it is possible for me to strike a balance between eating clean and having fun, and I do like to have fun!

      With weight loss, it can feel like there's also a loss of privacy.  (I know this is ironic, what with my doing this blog and all.)  It's more that other people seem to feel much more free to comment about my weight when they see that there's been weight loss.  For the most part, these are positive or encouraging statements.  Someone I haven't seen in several months may say that I'm looking great.  I may be asked "What's your secret to losing weight?"  But sometimes the comments become more critical or personal.  If I turn down a snack or a treat, I could hear "That's right, you don't eat."  Someone will ask "Don't you think you've lost enough weight already?"  I've even gotten comments about my "disappearing" booty and bosom.  (That's a specific loss which I'll address in a future post.)  A friend had a complete stranger approach her on her daily commute, compliment her on her weight loss over the past year, and then warn her that she'd better not regain the weight.  What!

      Sadly, I think some friendships have been lost (or at least strained) by weight loss.  This may be my reading too much into things, but I've noticed that some people seem to be less comfortable around me or around me less in general.  Perhaps there are comments about what I eat or how I exercise. They could be said as jokes or on the side, but there's still a little jab in there.  Perhaps there's a sense of competition.  I don't know if they're comparing themselves to me or thinking that I'm judging them.  I can honestly say that I'm in no place to evaluate anyone else and I try really hard to not come across and judgmental (because I'm not!), but I am very vocal about what I'm doing and I can understand how someone else may HEAR that as my being critical of them.  I'd much rather that people speak directly to me than make assumptions, harbor ill feelings, or avoid me.

      Perhaps tied into this is a reduced understanding from others.  I don't mean that I'm looking for sympathy or pity.  Rather, there can be an assumption from others that I don't face any challenges or that things come easy for me.  When discussing the struggles that people face with making decisions around food and related issues, one woman said that I wouldn't understand the difficulties of weight management because I'm skinny.  She also implied that I don't have to work at it in the same way that she does.  Hello?  I spoke up right away, told her about my history of struggling with my weight, and how I make intentional decisions every day to manage my weight and take care of myself.  I shared with her my exercise regimen and my strict meal plans.  Once I shared this with the woman, she seemed to listen more to my opinions.  I can understand being more receptive to a message from someone who has walked in your shoes, but don't assume that someone hasn't been in your shoes.  Just because they're not there now doesn't mean they haven't been there before.

      Would I regain the weight if it meant I didn't have to deal with these and other losses?  Of course not!  I just think it's important to have realistic expectations.  Often, there's an idealized expectation about what "that" experience will be, whether it's starting a new job/school, going on a "dream" vacation, getting together with a friend you haven't seen in ages, or succeeding at weight loss.  Whatever the undertaking, the best approach is to go into it with eyes wide open.  There's certainly a lot to be gained, a lot of positive aspects, but it can (and often does) come with a price.  I try to be prepared for some let-downs, but don't let them undermine the efforts I make to achieve my goals.

      Food Log: 
      • Meal 1
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa
      • Meal 2
        • 2oz chicken
        • Green and yellow beans
      • Meal 3
        • 2oz chicken
      • Meal 4
        • 4oz chicken
        • Green beans
        • Tablespoon of peanut butter
      • Meal 5
        • Protein shake
      Exercise:
      • Time: 62 minutes
      • Level: Level 1 for 1 minute, Level 4 for 58 minutes, Level 1 for 3 minutes
      • Calories: 700+ 

      Today's Weigh-In: 143.8

      Tuesday, January 25, 2011

      How Fortunate I Am....


      I work hard.  I'm not boasting or looking for a pat on the back, I'm just stating a fact.  There's often a mentality of "If you just work hard enough...."  While that's certainly true in many regards, working hard isn't the only variable.  Recently, I've realized how fortunate I am.  Because of this, I'm able to focus so much of my time, energy, and money on working out and eating well.

      My husband and I have an income where we can afford a gym membership.  We spend a little bit more for the "fancy" gym, but I think it's important to have a place where you want to go workout.  Having the membership is also a commitment to workout (at least in my mind), since it's open 24-hours and always has machines available.  So if I can't workout at home, I know there's always somewhere else I can go for my exercise.  Another bonus about our particular gym is that a number of our friends are members there as well.  While I don't often workout with other people (unless it's a tandem session with my trainer), it can be nice to meet up with someone for a fitness class or to walk on the treadmill together.

      Related to the gym membership, we're also able to afford personal training sessions.  Working out with a trainer has been key to my success.  While I'm sure I could have made headway working out on my own, I'm certain it wouldn't have been to this level.  I frequently refer to training as my weekly therapy appointments.  I'm able to set aside an hour a week to be coached and pushed by someone else.  I don't have to make the decisions about what exercise to do or how much weight to lift.  I trust in my trainer and have confidence in him because he has confidence in me.  I don't treat his word like gospel (though he'd maybe like it if I did!), but I value him as a resource.  Not all trainers are as capable and competent as the ones I've found.  I don't know if I've just been lucky, but I do know I've been fortunate to have worked with some really great trainers over the years.

      Another financial aspect to consider is that I'm able to afford healthier foods  Groceries can be expensive and buying healthier foods is even more expensive!  At the grocery store yesterday, I spent over $250 on groceries.  While this did include some household items (CFL lightbulbs for 16.99) and the ingredients for a cake I'm baking later this week, almost everything that went into the cart was for our regular, everyday meals.  And the total was after $50 in coupons and sale items.  The food I bought yesterday will certainly last us through the week and might even cover most of next week (with a small run to the store for more veggies).  But we can afford $200/week or more for foods that are good for us, that we like, and that taste good.  Breaking that down, it's about $5/meal - definitely more than a McDonald's value meal or a box of Kraft Macaroni & Cheese, but definitely more nutritious as well!  One trade-off is that we don't go out to eat very often, but that's driven by my wanting to eat clean rather than by our finances.

      One huge variable is my flexible schedule, which I definitely appreciate.  In my job, I get to make my own hours and schedule my own appointments.  While I only get paid for the appointments I see, I also get to say when I'm available to see these appointments.  I have made the intentional choice to block out windows of time for exercise, so that it's a priority in my day.  My first appointment often isn't until 11am, allowing me the time to exercise in the morning.  For days when I have an earlier start, I can try to arrange for an earlier end so that I can exercise in the evening.  An added bonus of the flexible schedule is that my hours are generally shifted from the "typical" schedule so that when I do get into the gym it's often during off-peak times.  I may not be able to make it to all the classes I'd be interested in, but I'm able to get onto the cardio machines I want and the locker room isn't crowded.

      One luxury I definitely enjoy is having an elliptical in our home.  This is our second machine and we've more than gotten our money's worth out of them!  My negotiation was that I would get the buy the machine in lieu of paying for a gym membership.  I don't remember precisely what we paid for it, but it was under $1000 (well less than the cost of a year's membership).  Having an elliptical in the basement means I don't have to make that extra effort of getting to the gym to get my workout done.  I don't have to wait in line for a particular machine to be available.  I wear whatever I want, because I'm not trying to look good for anyone.  I make as much noise as I want, huffing and puffing, without distracting anyone else.  I multitask, doing laundry while I exercise.  I watch whatever I want on the TV.  The TV is an extra treat for my exercising at home, because it's set-up with the Tivo and I get to watch fun shows that I wouldn't set aside the time to watch otherwise.

      This may sound strange, but I'm fortunate to not have any children for the moment.  Though I can  guarantee you that when I do have children, I'll be going on about how fortunate I am to have them.  But for the time being, not having children means that I'm not having to adapt my schedule to accommodate the little munchkins.  "I'm the boss of me!"  I can workout according to my own timetable without having to work around school buses, nap-times, playdates, and homework.  I can cook whatever I want for dinner without bowing to the demands of a picky eater (aside from my husband who's really not that picky).  I can eat whenever I want to as well.  With our work schedules, we often won't sit down to eat until after 9pm - well after a little one's bedtime!  I know when we have kids there will need to be a lot of changes to our schedules and our lifestyle, but for now I'm appreciative of the flexibility and independence that comes with a munchkin-free life.

      I honestly think that the one thing I am most fortunate to have is the support of my husband.  I know that he loves me regardless of my weight and appearance.  I know he wants me to be happy and healthy.  I know he has sacrificed a lot as a result of my undertaking these efforts.  Today was a prime example of his support.  I woke up with a pretty bad headache and didn't feel like I could get my workout in before work.  Before he left for work, I asked if he would mind if I worked out in the evening which would mean a later evening for us.  He said he was completely fine with it, knowing that dinner wouldn't be until 10pm.  If I were to tell him how much I appreciated it, he would probably roll his eyes and insist it wasn't a big deal.  If I didn't have his support, it would be much more difficult to stay committed to my efforts.  There are already enough challenges to face in life, but facing them with him at my side makes them more manageable.  Maybe the things he does to support me really aren't a big deal, but they're what's that is important to me. 

      Food Log:
      • Meal 1
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with salsa
      • Meal 2
        • 2 oz chicken
      • Meal 3
        • 2 oz chicken
      • Meal 4
        • 4 oz chicken
        • Asparagus
      • Meal 5
        • Protein shake
      Exercise:
      • Time: Stairmill for 60 minutes
      • Level: 8 (3 minutes of single steps, 2 minutes of double steps the entire time)
      • Calories:  650+ 
      Today's Weigh-In:  144.1

      Monday, January 24, 2011

      Fashion - The Evils of "Skinny Jeans"


      Who decides what's fashionable?  When I see some of the things that make it down the runway, I think the "powers that be" in the fashion world must live on another planet.  There seems to be a consistent trend to pick out the styles that are the most unflattering to the greatest portion of the population and then to identify them as the "it" fashions for the season.

      While I see that "anyone can wear skinny jeans with confidence," I don't think that means that anyone should wear skinny jeans.  It's a style that seems to be hand-picked for the tall, skinny, supermodel type, not for the average person with legs larger than toothpicks.  For the longest time, I wasn't able to find jeans that fit, let alone looked somewhat flattering on me.  I'd try to pull them on and ... they'd get stuck over my calves or my thighs.  So even if the jeans would fit my waist, it was impossible for me to get them up that far!  I've since seen catalog listings for jeans which include "leg opening" measurements - I don't believe the 17" openings will be fitting over my legs.... 

      A number of websites out there have tips for how to make skinny jeans work for you - wear with boots to cover up your calves, wear with a tunic to cover a tummy or a butt, wear with heels to elongate legs.  It seems silly to pick a piece of clothing that seems designed to accentuate the "negative" aspects of a person's appearance.  Skinny jeans create an "ice cream cone" effect - narrow at the bottom and wider at the top.  After watching years of "What Not To Wear" on TLC, I know that's one of Stacy and Clinton's "Don't" fashion tips.

      So, if I'm to follow the dictates of the magazines, I'm wearing knee-high or over-the-knee boots that won't zip-up over my "athletic" calves (LOVED the salesman who referred to my calves that way when none of the boots he brought me would fit).  In the spring and summer I would wear crop or capri pants which make my bottom half look shorter and wider.  I'm already on the short side and don't need pants to elevate that to "stumpy."  A spring fashion trend is horizontal stripes to  broaden my torso - a style only a prisoner could love.  Gladiator shoes are something which I just don't understand.  And I thought we left rompers back in preschool!

      And when it comes down to the skinny jeans, I guess I could opt for "jeggings" instead, but I don't think they're much of an improvement.  I did find one pair of skinny jeans at Kohl's that I could be comfortable with.  They're not very tight, in fact I think they're kind of baggy for skinny jeans and that suits my legs just fine.  I bought them specifically to go with a pair of boots because I had a hard time tucking my other jeans into them.  And I tend to wear them with a tunic or a larger sweater.  I admit it, I'm a sucker for trends.

      But why should I try to fit into clothes that seem to be designed to foster negative feelings about my appearance?  Why do I feel that I'm supposed to wear pants that fit like sausage casing and create a "muffin top" over the waist band?  I'm not advocating for a life of looking schlumpy wearing  sweatpants all the time (although that would be incredibly comfy!).  Rather, I think fashion should be made to work around the individual.  I want to feel good about myself when I get dressed in the morning.  I want to feel comfortable throughout the day.  I care about myself and I want that to be portrayed in how I dress and carry myself.  I put a lot of effort into my physical presence and my clothes are going to accentuate that.


      Food Log:

      • Meal 1 
        • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with Mrs. Dash and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray
      • Meal 2
        • 2oz chicken
        • French beans 
      • Meal 3
        • 4oz chicken
        • French beans 
      • Meal 4
        • Protein shake
      Note:  I ate A LOT of Lifesavers mints and Werther's Originals this afternoon.

      Exercise: 
      • Time:  90 minutes
      • Level:  Level 1 the entire time
      • Calories:  800
      Today's Weigh-In:  144.5

        Sunday, January 23, 2011

        Watching Weight - Thoughts On Weight Watchers


        In 2006 and 2007, my doctor repeatedly recommended that I consider Weight Watchers (WW).  To be honest, this offended me.  I wasn't like THOSE people who needed a cliched program to lose weight.  I had been at a healthy weight before and knew how to lose weight.  I didn't need to go to weekly meetings with some peppy cheerleader telling me about the importance of fruits and vegetables.  I was going to do it on my own!

        Then, in December 2007, I went to the doctor's office again and climbed on the scale.  I was appalled to see that I weighed in at 189!  Again, my doctor suggested WW and this time I listened.  I left the office in tears, called my husband to inform him we were joining a gym that weekend, and logged onto WeightWatchers.com.  What a wake-up call when I logged my breakfast that first day!  I had my usual Wednesday morning study breakfast (Starbucks latte and scone) which accounted for about half my points for the day.  I knew I hadn't been eating very well, I just hadn't realized how poorly I had been eating!  No wonder the number kept going up on the scale!

        From the very beginning, I made the decision to stick with the website interface and to not go to meetings.  Once I have a program to follow, I'm pretty good at following it.  I would rather educate myself and read the information online than sit in a meeting for an hour each week.  And given my work schedule, I wasn't sure I could consistently make it to a meeting each week.  Meanwhile, I'm continuously on my computer so tracking my points through the website (as opposed to in a notebook), seemed like the obvious option.

        I will admit that I also had a personal bias against going to the meetings - I didn't want to be one of THOSE people.  By going to a meeting, I would be grouping myself with overweight women who didn't know how to make healthy food choices.  Umm, hello?  That's precisely what I was!  But I had other assumptions and stereotypes in my head about what it meant to be someone who follows the WW program.  (I had originally typed "follower" in there but didn't want it to be perceived as a disciple or fanatic.)  These assumptions included, but were not limited to:
        • people who were looking to blame someone else for their weight;
        • people who were lazy and were looking for a quick fix;
        • people who were more interested in socializing than in learning to do things differently;
        • people who were more likely to complain about their lives than to see about living them differently;
        • people who were unsuccessful (both regarding weight-loss and other aspects of life);
        • people who were less intelligent/sophisticated/cultured/etc.;
        • people who were ignorant and ill-informed about health, nutrition, and fitness; and
        • people who were using weight as a scapegoat for life's problems
        Guess what?  NONE of these are true!!!  These were more a reflection of my own insecurities and how I may be perceived more than anything else.  I didn't want to be seen as any of these things.  People following the WW program are no more likely to embody these characteristics than anyone in the general population.  In fact, I wouldn't be surprised if they are LESS likely to reflect any of these points.  The people who follow WW and actually make it work for themselves are taking responsibility for their food intake, their weight, and their lifestyles.  They recognize that it's a gradual process that takes dedication and consistency.  They're educated about food options and continually learn about all aspects of nutrition.

        Now please note that I'm referring to people who FOLLOW the WW program.  Simply going to the meetings each week or logging onto the website isn't going to magically result in weight loss or healthier living.  (I think that's the type of person I was fearful of becoming.)  WW is a great tool for teaching someone how to approach food and exercise in a way that is balanced and sustainable.  Someone who doesn't use that tool can't be disappointed when it doesn't work.

        After 8-10 months of following WW, I decided to try weekly meetings.  Primarily, this was so I could support a friend who was wanting to follow the program, but I also wanted to see what I had been missing by relying on the online interface.  By this point, I was just a few pounds away from my weight loss goal (147) and attaining "Lifetime" standing - I had already done a lot on my own.  Most of what was covered in the weekly meetings was old news to me.  At that point I felt like I could have run the meetings myself, and that's probably true.

        WW worked incredibly well for my initial goals:
        • I was more conscious of my food choices
        • I was eating healthier foods
        • I was physically active
        • I read food labels
        • I ate fruits and vegetables
        • I monitored my portions
        • I lost over 40 pounds
        Despite all these gains, I began to feel as though I had "out-grown" the WW program.  Given the new levels of fitness that I was striving for, there weren't enough points to feed my increased muscle mass.  The weight range didn't take body composition into account, so my weigh-in at 153 at the beginning of 2011 would have been considered overweight.  (NOTE:  This was before the launch of the revised WW program that revamped the point system and allowed for more protein.)

        While I no longer follow WW myself, I am a strong advocate and frequently recommend it to others.   (Not unsolicited recommendations, but when I'm having a conversation with someone who's interested in losing weight and adopting a healthier lifestyle.)  In a society where we're bombarded with gimmicks and quick-fix schemes, WW has it's head on straight.  Compared to other programs, it seems like WW is the only one that focuses on developing a foundation for a healthy lifestyle.  I encourage people to consider WW because it addresses the interaction between thoughts, feelings, and behaviors and how this relates to an individual's weight.  The accountability of weekly check-ins can be important to help someone stay with the program.  The meetings are actually a great source of support and encouragement.  Basically, it's a program that teaches people how to live their lives with while adopting and maintaining a healthy lifestyle.

        When people comment on my transformation over the past 3 years, I'm sure to emphasize that it didn't happen overnight and I didn't start out as "hardcore" as I am right now.  Everyone has to start somewhere.  My path started with WW and, with that foundation, has taken me from there to some pretty incredible places!

        Food Log: 
        • Meal 1  
          • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with Mrs Dash and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray 
        • Meal 2 
          • 2oz chicken
          • Artichoke hearts, peas, onions  
        • Meal 3 
          • 2oz chicken
          • 20g almonds 
        • Meal 4
          • 4oz chicken
          • Asparagus
          • Tablespoon of peanut butter
        • Meal 5
          • Protein shake
          Exercise: 
          • Time:  1-hour total body workout with trainer  
          • Calories:  Probably about 400 - I forgot to start my heart rate monitor until about halfway through the session 
          Today's Weigh-In:  144.3
          (I was pleasantly surprised with this, as I was expecting my weigh-in to be higher today after the salt and dessert from yesterday's cheat dinner.)

            Saturday, January 22, 2011

            2011 - Week 3 In Review

            Three weeks into 2011 and I continue to stay on track with everything.  There have been some challenges, but I'm still feeling positive about everything.  I haven't been feeling denied or deprived, but I'm also not super pumped up.  More, there's an overall sense of routine and each choice is just another piece in the plan.  I'm starting to see more results, like a bit more definition around my stomach (less of a "pooch" and shadow of a line on either side, but no 6-pack in the near future).  I'm continuing to feel more comfortable in my clothes, and even bought a size 2 skirt earlier this week!  (Not that sizes mean anything, but it does reflect a change.)  Here's my take on the week:
            • Weight
              • Starting Weight: 153.8
              • Last Week's Weight: 145.1
              • Today's Weight:  144.6
              • Weight Loss (This Week):  0.5
              • Weight Loss (Total 2011):  9.2
              • Review:  The scale pretty much hovered in the 145 range all week going up and down, so I could tell it wasn't going to be a dramatic loss.  PMS may be to "blame" for some of this, but I'm not sure.  Another factor may be that I'm not eating enough, so my body's holding onto every ounce of weight it can.  Some weeks are slower than others, but the important piece to consider is that the overall trend is in the desired direction.
              • Prediction:  There might be a bit more of a drop over the next week, if PMS is partially to blame for the slower loss this week.  I don't expect dramatic numbers, but perhaps something in the 1-pound range.  Tonight's cheat meal will bump my weight up tomorrow, so the first half of the week (at least) will probably be returning to where I was at this morning.
            • Exercise
              • Days of Exercise: 6
              • The one day off was a planned skip.
              • Stayed on target with calories burned.
              • Review: I got my workouts in, but I felt a little slow and sluggish with them.  The strength training on Sunday was much more challenging than it should have been.  I didn't do any "super" workouts of extraordinary length.  It was all typical, and that's okay.  Sometimes it's more about jumping through the hoops.  I got it all done, and that's what counts.
              • Prediction: Looking at my schedule for next week, I don't see any reason why I wouldn't be able to get my 6 workouts in.  I have two mornings where I have appointments, but one of those has a completely clear afternoon and the other will be my planned day off.  I'm hoping to have more energy than I did this past week.
            • Eating
              • Days of Clean Eating:  6
              • Review:  I'm happy with how I handled myself this week.  I was at serious risk for emotional eating on Friday, but didn't give into it and stayed on-track.  Another success:  I baked cookies and brownies as part of my father-in-law's birthday present and was able to not indulge in any of it!  I portioned out his treats, set some aside for my husband to have over the next week, and froze the rest for a party we're hosting in February.  There was a temptation to taste a little bit, but I reminded myself that I'd enjoy my cheat dinner even more if I stayed with my plan the rest of the day.  I've also changed from "breakfast," "dinner," and "snacks" to just "meals" because there's not much of a distinction for my meals.
              • Prediction:  I've got another cheat meal planned for next Saturday - dinner out with friends.  As with this week, I anticipate being able to stay on-plan with everything else and I'll do my best to plan out that meal as well.  I've been thinking of how to work in that other meal and am considering incorporating 2oz of chicken with the veggies.  I might break the veggies into a smaller serving so that there's room for them.  (My "serving" of veggies can be 12oz!)
            • Overall
              • I'd say this week was pretty good.  It wasn't remarkable.  I didn't do anything incredible, but I didn't have to.  Sometimes just doing the everyday things is impressive enough.  I planned in advance for meals and for exercise and I followed through on these plans.  I tried to take care of myself and I sought out supports to help with this.  I do want to focus more on the self-care aspect of things, so I can continue to encourage this commitment to health and fitness.  "Where there is no struggle there is no strength." - Oprah Winfrey 
            Food Log:
            • Meal 1
              • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with Mrs Dash and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray
            • Meal 2
              • Protein Shake
            • Meal 3 
              • Mixed garden green salad tossed with a champagne vinaigrette dressing
              • Hangar steak with spinach (had them hold the whipped potatoes and gave the crispy onions to my husband)
              • Nutella creme brulee (which I shared with Grandpa, though I ate 3/4 of it and loved every bite - DELICIOUS!!!)
            • Meal 4
              • Protein Shake (opted out of typical peanut butter because I had more fat earlier in the day)
            Exercise:
            • Time:  70 minutes (with jumping off twice to switch laundry)
            • Level:   3
            • Calories: 650+
            • Distance: 5 miles
            Today's Weigh-In: 144.6

            Friday, January 21, 2011

            Working Through A Tough Day


            I had a tough time today, and not for any particular reason.  I guess I could attribute it to PMS.  While I often I feel like that's making an excuse, there may be something to it, given how tearful I've been.  I worked hard to stay positive and to coach myself through the day.  With some insights, support from my husband, and the knowledge of accountability, I was able to make my way through the day and end on a good note.

            It all started with not sleeping very well last night.  I had some disturbing dreams and kept waking up before the alarm went off.  Once I woke up and got out of bed, I was able to get up and moving but had low energy and wasn't moving with any real energy.  I decided to exercise and was just about to change into my workout clothes when my dad called.

            Generally, conversations with my parents are pretty good.  This morning's conversation?  Not so much.  While it wasn't a bad talk, I found myself getting frustrated - particularly when I tried to explain some of my worries about seeing the nephrologist and some past health issues.  I didn't feel misunderstood, but I definitely didn't feel understood.  I was choking up just trying to explain the most simple and straightforward facts.  This morning talk just fed into my already-crummy mood.  It was difficult to explain to my husband that I wasn't upset, depressed, or angry after the phone call - I just feel like crying and there's no particular reason why.  After the conversation with my dad and the subsequent talk with my husband about the conversation, exercising before work was out of the question.  

            I felt "blah" with a higher weigh-in as well.  While I try to not read too much into the numbers, I do get a tad demoralized when the numbers creep up despite my doing all the "right" things.  (This is where I think the PMS element has some validity, as I'm getting my period in a few days.)


            So I got myself ready for work and rolled into the office (a few minutes late).  The staff meeting included pizza and it was tempting to grab a slice or two (or three or four).  Instead, I reminded myself that indulging in the pizza wouldn't erase the "blah" feelings and would actually leave me feeling worse in the long run.  

            I had a hard time focusing for most of the day and noticed that I was getting irritated by things that otherwise wouldn't bother me.  I knew the end of the day was going to be demanding and I rallied some energy for my final appointments.  It was a challenge to stay motivated because I was in meetings until 7:30 and didn't leave the office until 7:45.

            At that time, I was questioning if I had the push to leave the office and drive to the gym.  All I wanted to do was to head home, put on my flannel pajamas, and curl up under the covers.  I took yesterday off and knew that I didn't have any physical reason to not exercise today.  In addition to the planned exercise, I wanted to get the exercise in because of tomorrow's cheat meal (father-in-law's birthday dinner).  I was torn between going to the gym (which would take more time, with driving back and forth) and going home (which would be more convenient but would necessitate walking by the couch and resisting it's call).  I called my husband and, while it wasn't pleasant for him, he was still at work.  That helped me feel a little less guilty about taking the extra time by going to the gym, which guaranteed getting a workout.

            Climbing onto the elliptical was enough to boost my mood.  Chugging away, I felt better and better with each passing minute.  I often refer to exercise as my therapy and today was a prime example of this.  I got my full workout in, reached all my goals, and felt worlds better walking out of the building.  I took a steaming hot shower and enjoyed a clean dinner with my husband.  It was a later night than usual, but I needed it to take care of myself.

            I'm glad I was able to pull myself through the day.  It started out tough and it would have been really easy to continue with the negativity and allow it to pull me down.  Instead, I focused on my choices and was determined to keep with my goals.  Successes like this are a great reinforcer!

            Food Log:

            • Meal 1 
              • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with Mrs Dash and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray
            • Meal 2
              • Green beans
            • Meal 3
              • Protein shake
            • Meal 4
              • 4oz chicken
              • Artichoke hearts, peas, and onions 
            • Meal 5
              • Generous tablespoon of peanut butter
            Exercise: 
            • Time:  65 min (60 min on elliptical, 5 min on treadmill)
            • Level:  Mostly Level 7, but levels aren't comparable to those on elliptical at home
            • Calories: 650+
            Today's Weigh-In: 146

              Thursday, January 20, 2011

              Managing the Mandatory Cheat

              There are times when I HAVE to go out to eat, when I won't have access to the food choices I'd prefer, when it's really difficult (and not quite appropriate) to smuggle in my own food.  It's frustrating to feel as though these decisions are taken away from me.  Mentally, it's different to have a cheat meal imposed on me rather than to choose a cheat meal for myself.  When I choose to cheat, I'll generally put a lot of thought into the choices.  I'll want to go to a restaurant that I really like, order foods I'm unlikely to cook for myself (very rarely does a cheat meal involve chicken!), and have good company with me.

              Then there are the "mandatory cheat" meals, where I can't opt-out of the function (and don't want to), but also where I don't have much say in where we eat.  I hate to feel as though my socializing is being limited because of the desire to make healthier food choices and I sometimes worry that we may get fewer invitations for dining out because people know about my clean eating efforts.  I don't expect all events to revolve around my eating preferences, though I will be vocal about these preferences if appropriate.  I do try to be flexible about arrangements and I've found that I can generally find something at whatever restaurant is selected.  I've found that I increase the likelihood of a good cheat experience by making suggestions about where we could go eat.

              When I know a cheat is up-coming, I try to address some points in advance.
              • Check the menu of the restaurant so I can plan out what I'd like to order
              • Focus on eating clean for the rest of the week
              • Spacing out my food for that day so I'm less likely to go into the meal ravenous
              • Fitting in all my exercise sessions
              • Extending some of my exercise (especially on the day of the cheat) to burn some extra calories
              Once I'm at the restaurant, I try to stay on top of my plan.  I'll ask the server for further details about the dishes.  I don't mind asking for substitutions, even if it means paying a little extra.  It's worth it to get a meal that I'm happy with!  I typically don't order alcohol, because I'd prefer my calories come from food.  So it's usually Diet Coke for me.  If there's dessert, I'll see about splitting it with someone else at the table - that way I can get a few tasty bites and not worry about having to limit myself.  Given my sweet tooth, I don't think I could leave any dessert behind without risking my bursting into flames!

              I think the most important thing I can do for myself with any cheat (mandatory or elective) is to give myself permission to enjoy it.  If I don't allow for these enjoyments, I'm more likely to get frustrated over the acute sense of denial.  This is where the ability to contextualize these situations and talk myself through them.  My weight didn't go up because of a single meal and it's not going to stop going down because of a single meal either.  As long as I remain on track the majority of the time, it's important that I allow myself the occasional indulgence.  I'll just accept that those occasions aren't always under my control.


              Food Log:
              • Breakfast
                • 4 egg whites and 2 eggs with Mrs Dash and I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray
              • Snack
                • Green beans with I Can't Believe It's Not Butter spray and spray dressing
                • Tablespoon of peanut butter
              • Dinner
                • 4oz chicken
                • Sauteed spinach with onions
                • Tablespoon of peanut butter
              • Snack
                • Tablespoon of peanut butter
              Exercise: None (Planned off day)
              Today's Weigh-In: 145.7