Monday, July 25, 2011

Throwing In The Towel (For The Day)

I'm blaming it on my menstrual cycle - at least that's my excuse for today's behaviors.  It actually started at the movies last night when I opted for the small popcorn and fruit snacks.  This morning, I entered the kitchen and just wanted to EAT.  I wasn't hungry, but I wanted to eat and eat and eat.  I must say that one good thing about having few "unclean" foods in the house is that it makes it very difficult to cheat.  But that's one of the frustrating things as well!  I don't even remember what all I put in my mouth today, but it was mostly peanut butter and almonds.  There were some treats that I dug out from the back of the cabinet.  And then there was the roasted pepper and tomato soup that I bought for dinner along with some cous cous.

Why did I do this?  Some of this may truly have been hormonal, as I was hit with my period today (sorry if this is TMI).  I'm not sure why, but it seems to have hit me harder this month than it has recently.  I've just been feeling bloated and crampy and "sludgy" (as I like to put it).  

On top of that, there was a big element of "Why bother?"  We're going to Canada for a long weekend and I already know that I won't be able to keep it clean the entire time (no fridge in the room and I haven't found a reasonable plug-in/portable cooler).  So if I won't be able to be on-plan for those four days, why stress about being on-plan between now and then?  Now, I know that's not a healthy (or rational) attitude, but that's the one I've had for the last week. 

I'm also rethinking my goals and efforts.  At the very least, I want to be able to maintain.  Instead of pushing to the next level, I want to strive for better balance in my life.  I have a lot going on at work right now and there's a lot of growth happening with my career.  I'm also looking to make some other positive additions/changes to my life and want to make sure that they cooperate with my fitness and nutrition efforts (and vice versa).  I think I'm trying to wrap my brain around it all right now as I try to figure out how I want to make everything work while making everything work and keeping my sanity.

I may be revising my cardio, having it be at a lower intensity but for a longer duration.  The only catch there is that I need to have the larger chunks of time to exercise.  With eating, I'm going to keep things generally clean (with days like today notwithstanding).  I do want to make space in there for my cheat meals and my date nights with my husband.  (Yes, I really enjoyed my treats at the movie theatre on Sunday evening along with hubby company.)

So I'm going to try and keep my eating on the healthier side, but I'm not going to stress it this up-coming weekend when we're traveling.  I'm aiming for regular exercise and want to focus more on the consistency rather than the intensity.  (This week may just be 2 sessions since there's work and travel.)  Above all, I want to make time for all aspects of my life, so that I can continue to grow and build on these opportunities/experiences.

While I haven't been posting as much, I have been thinking about what I want to write and share with others.  I just wish there was a quicker way to take what's in my head and put it on the screen!

Thursday, July 21, 2011

Today's Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: When I go out to eat with my girlfriends, I usually enjoy myself until it comes time for dessert. Then I get grief if I don't order any and they do.

They'll say, "Oh, you're so tiny. You can eat it." Conversely, if I do order something, they tell me, "Well, I'd love some but my metabolism isn't as high as yours."

I have never made comments to them about calorie counting, needing to work out or concern about my weight. I feel fitness is a private matter, and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion. Is there any way to respectfully and tactfully respond to their comments or redirect the conversation?

- Takes the Cake in Flagstaff, Ariz.

DEAR TAKES THE CAKE: The way you said it in your letter is perfect: "I feel fitness is a private matter and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion."

Either state it when they comment on what you have ordered, or say it privately to each of your friends.

-----------------

This is an interesting letter that I can relate to.  Now I can be pretty open about working out and nutrition, but I don't talk about it over meals.  I don't say "Oh, I can't eat that." I don't talk about counting calories or being on a diet.  When I'm offered dessert or we're going out to eat, I may say that I'm choosing to eat clean.  When dessert rolls around, I may decline, share with someone, or order hot tea instead.  I'll then joke that I add enough Splenda to my tea that it's a dessert in and of itself.

WEDNESDAY:
Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 3oz Chicken
    • Peppers and Onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: NONE (Planned)
 
Weigh-In: 150.3 / 148.9
 
THURSDAY:
Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Peppers and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 3oz Chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: NONE (Allowed myself to get stuck at work longer than planned)
 
Weigh-In: 148.1 / 148.1

Wednesday, July 20, 2011

Ten Years Later, Ten Years Better

This past week, my husband and I celebrated our 10th wedding anniversary by renewing our vows in Las Vegas.  My trainer asked if I looked different now as compared to 10 years ago.  Honestly, I think I look much better now!  When we got married, I was 25 years old.  I don't remember exactly, but I probably weighed about 150+ and was wearing a size 10:


Compare that to now, at age 35, where I'm weighing about 145 (which is a bit fluffy for me now) and wearing a size 4:

The big difference? MUSCLES!  (Yes, the poofy dress does make me look larger, but I really was quite a bit bigger then.)  My weight is a bit lower right now but my body composition is so different!  There's better definition - in my arms, shoulders, and legs.  My collar bones are more noticeable, but not in a gaunt or emaciated way.  My face is still full but not doughy looking - I have cheekbones!

I still have my wedding dress, which I think was a size 14 (remember that wedding dress sizes are generally larger than "regular" clothing sizes, but I wasn't that far from a size 14).  It was preserved and is sealed up in a box, otherwise I would have tried it on for a comparison photo.  I know I still look "thick" at times (perhaps this is more my perception of myself as opposed to how I actually appear).  But there's a strength and a solidness to this.  I don't look soft of flabby.  When I look at my upper arms, I know I've got thick arms - but they're guns instead of wings.

When I look back at my wedding day, I wouldn't change a thing.   It reflected who I was at that time in my life. However, at that time in my life, I remember feeling insecure and uncomfortable with myself.  I made a lot of comparisons to other people, feeling as though I wasn't measuring up.  I certainly feel better about myself now, internally and externally.  I feel more confident and sure about myself.  I better know what I want to do and who I want to be.  It's not that my current size makes me feel better about myself.  Rather, I think it's an outward manifestation of how I feel internally.  And it's not just my lower weight but my enthusiasm, my energy, my confidence, and my comfort with myself.

I've grown and _________ (improved didn't seem right, developed didn't fit either, and matured or aged made me sound like wine, so pick your own word here) a lot over these past 10 years and I'm eager to see where I go over the next 10!

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3oz Chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  50 minutes on the elliptical (time crunch with needing to get into work)
  • Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute; Level 4 for 20 minutes; Level 3 for 10 minutes; Level 2 for 10 minutes; Level 1 for 9 minutes 
  • Distance:  4+ miles
  • Average HR: Above 160, even with lowering the levels
  • Calories:  625+
Weigh-In: 150.6 / 149.7

Monday, July 18, 2011

2011 - Week 28 In Review

I'm back from Vegas and back on track! The last week was a planned "off-plan" week across the board.  While there was a fair amount of indulgence going on, I'm having no trouble with returning to my plan.  In fact, I'm happy to be back on plan because I was starting to look (and feel) pretty yucky after the hiatus.

Exercise:  Over the past two weeks, the only real exercise was my weekly session with my trainer.  I definitely felt more tired, and I think this was in part due to my not moving as much.  I got back into the gym today for a session with my trainer and a bit of cardio.  Looking at this week's schedule, I'm planning to get a workout in each day except for Wednesday.  I'm not going to push myself too hard with each workout, since I'm pretty much rebuilding my endurance again, but I do want to get the consistent sessions back into my routine.

Food:  I kept it clean until I arrived at the airport.  The moment I checked my bag on Wednesday evening, the "dirty" eating began and it didn't stop until I went to bed last night.  I must say that most of my consumption was in the form of alcohol - I love that Dave Zinczenko referred to margaritas as the equivalent of drinking liquid gummy bears.  That's my kind of drink!  I did notice that I got hungry more often, despite my definitely eating more food.  I had more of an appetite, but still got full relatively easily.  Perhaps I didn't eat as much with each serving, at least not as compared to what all was served, but I did eat a fair amount.  I won't go into all the food porn, but I did enjoy a good variety of food.  I was a bit picky about what I ate and there were some things that didn't rock my world, but it was all pretty good.

Now that I'm back from the trip, I'm back on plan again.  I've been quite happy to be eating clean today and it feels really good.  I haven't been hungry today.  My stomach seems to be working through all the leftovers from Vegas, digesting and plugging away.  For this week, my plan is to keep it clean the whole time.  I may look at a "date night" with my husband as a cheat this weekend, but I wouldn't be surprised if we're both happy with keeping it clean and staying on the couch.

Overall:  I did enjoy my planned break and I think I needed it.  I had a lot of fun in Vegas and wouldn't trade that experience for anything.  However, there was a price to be paid for that good time.  Over the course of our stay there, I felt more bloated and sluggish.  I felt more self-conscious in my clothes by the end, though my husband said I didn't look heavier.  (I certainly felt it!)  My weight is up about 8 pounds over the past two weeks (though I expect a fair amount of that to come off relatively quickly with my being back to eating clean and exercising).  On top of that, my skin has been awful.  I'm breaking out like mad and I just feel oily and greasy.  I hope that returning to plan will help with that too.  Even with the results of being off-plan, I'm not beating myself up.  It's all about living life and finding balance among things.

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3oz Chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  15 minutes on the elliptical; 1 hour strength training with personal trainer
  • Calories:  Didn't wear my heart rate monitor (left it at home by mistake)
Weigh-In: 152.9 / 152.5 (I mentioned the indulgences in Vegas, didn't I?)

Wednesday, July 13, 2011

Heading On Vacation

I know I've been MIA a lot recently.  Life has been quite busy and stressful for me and I'm working to keep it all in balance.  Part of that balance has meant taking the time from blogging and allocating it to other activities (like sleep!).  I have been eating clean each day, despite the temptation to just order-in or grab a burger on the way home.

I haven't been exercising and I do feel it.  My weight has remained relatively constant over the last week, but not doing cardio has an impact on how I feel physically.  I do think that part of my being tired is because I'm not moving as much.  Sitting in my desk chair and squirming around doesn't count as movement.  While I won't be going to the fitness center in Vegas, I anticipate doing a lot of walking and moving around.  I do love the slot machines, but they only hold my attention for so long.

One thing I noticed today was the urge to use food as a way to celebrate.  I had an incredible professional opportunity this morning (guest on a national radio program) and felt pumped up afterward.  "Yes!  This deserves to be acknowledged ... with a milkshake?"  I didn't have the milkshake (or go shopping, which was the other urge), but I was acutely aware of that pull.  I decided to just be proud of myself and to embrace all the warm fuzzies I was getting from those around me.  I think the most touching thing was an e-mail my mom wrote me, where she closed it with:

"Today I am the very proud mother of a very exceptional daughter.  Thank you for being you."

That feels better than any milkshake in the world!

(I'll be back to blogging early next week, hopefully on a more regular basis again.)

Sunday, July 10, 2011

2011 - Week 27 In Review

I know I haven't been blogging much this week, but that doesn't mean I've been in hiding or have jumped off the wagon.  I've been quite busy this week, not to mention feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  I've also been really tired.

Exercise:  I only did 1 cardio session this week (on Monday).  I knew Tuesday would be out because I was spending the day with friends and family who were in town.  Wednesday and Thursday were later nights at work.  Friday was a late-ish night at work.  By that point, I had pretty much decided that I was going to be taking a hiatus from exercise for the week.  I could have pushed myself but opted not to.  The same for Saturday.  I chose to take care of paperwork, chores, and errands rather than push myself to get an hour of cardio in there.  


Next week will be another exercise hiatus.  Monday and Tuesday, I'm working until 9pm, getting my clients in for the week.  Then, Wednesday through Sunday is our trip to Las Vegas for our wedding anniversary.  I suppose I could try to exercise while out there, but I know it's not going to happen.  First of all, there's plenty of things to be doing out there and I'd much rather be out and doing other things rather than closing myself up in a fitness center.  Second, I believe there's a fee for using the fitness center at the hotel, which does serve as another deterrent.  But I'm not stressing about this.  I'll be doing a fair amount of walking around.  It won't be the same as my hour of cardio 5-times a week, but it's better than nothing.

Food:  Even though I haven't been exercising, I've continued with good food choices and kept it clean.  My one cheat was planned on Tuesday at the baseball game with my cousins.  (Yes, the funnel cake was delicious.  No, I couldn't even finish it all.)  I was tempted to do some cheating this weekend.  My husband was out of town and it would have been so easy for me to just grab something on the way home and indulge.  Yesterday, I didn't plan my meals very well and found myself being quite hungry while out and about running errands.  If there had been churros available at BJs, I might have gone ahead and gotten one.  But I kept with my clean eating with the reminder that I'll be indulging for five days next week.


This week's food will be yummy and delicious.  I'm not looking to binge while we're in Las Vegas, but I'm definitely looking to enjoy myself and that includes the fabulous foods and drinks.  My plan is to keep it clean until I leave for the airport and then to officially check in for my vacation!  I want to make cleaner choices and watch my portion sizes, but I don't want to stress over it.


Overall: 
Maybe I checked out on vacation a little early.  Or perhaps my body has been telling me that I really do need this vacation as a chance to reset and recharge.  I'm proud of myself for not getting the "fuck-its" and jumping off the wagon.  With not exercising, it felt even more important that I continue with the clean eating.  I've been reminding myself of a favorite quote - "No one ever has it all together.  That's like trying to eat once and for all."  It's okay that I don't have it all together right now.  I'm human and I'm doing my best.

When I get back from vacation, my trainer and I are going to sit down and "regroup" to evaluate where I'm at and where I want to take things.  We talked a bit about it in today's session.  I'm fit, healthy, strong, and trim.  If I want to make further gains, I will need to determine how to push myself.  If I want to maintain where I'm at, that's okay too.  I want to figure out my priorities and what's important to me so that I can continue to strive for balance in my life.

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Peppers and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3oz Chicken
    • Peppers and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  1 hour strength training with personal trainer
  • Calories:  Didn't wear my heart rate monitor.  Given that I didn't really exercise at all this week, I didn't see the point in wearing it this one time.
Weigh-In: 145.6 / 144.8

Wednesday, July 6, 2011

Logging It

I enjoyed the long holiday weekend and getting to spend time with friends and family.  However, I did absolutely nothing around the house and am getting further behind on my paperwork for the office.  While I'm planning a marathon this weekend to help me get caught up before next week's trip to Las Vegas, I'm determined to make choices that help limit my feeling stressed and overwhelmed.  Wish me luck!

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4 
    •  3oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: None - planned  (at work until almost 9)
 
Weigh-In: 146.1 / (Forgot to do a second weigh-in this morning, I was really out of it.)

Tuesday, July 5, 2011

A Foreign Perspective

I spend much of the day with my cousins who are visiting from Scotland (my cousin, her husband, and their two teenage children).  While "we girls" were walking around the mall so that my "niece" could get some trendy clothes to take back home, my cousin and I talked about a number of the differences between Scotland and the States.  One of the biggest that she had noticed was the lack of physical activity in the US as compared to her home. 

As a sweeping generalization, it's very difficult to walk or bicycle anywhere.  On top of that, the lack of accessible and convenient public transportation (especially outside of major cities) leaves many people dependent on cars to get everywhere.  In comparison, most children in her village (yes, village not town or city) walk or bicycle to school.  Her husband even rides his bike the 7 miles to work and back each day.  Even if I wanted to ride a bike to work, there's no way I could safely do so with the roads and highways I'd have to navigate.

Another difference was the availability of food.  She commented on the portion sizes being served at restaurants, that they were much larger here.  And I got the impression that the selection of food (like on the menu at the Chinese restaurant) was much larger as well.  They have definitely been eating well while on their vacation, being self-described piggies, but also seemed overwhelmed by all the food options before them.

I don't remember the specific statistics quoted in "Super Size Me" but there was something about America being the most obese first-world nation in the world.  I did a quick check and there were a couple of different pieces of information.  One site says that as of 2008 the US is third behind American Samoa and Kiribati.  However another site says that the US is first in obesity and that over two-thirds of the population is overweight.

I definitely think there's something to American society that fosters a lifestyle that encourages (and maybe even rewards) obesity.  Or perhaps it would be more accurate to say that particular behaviors and choices are encouraged/rewarded and these behaviors and choices also foster obesity.  So not that obesity is directly encouraged but that certain priorities and values are reinforced, feeding into the American weight crisis.  While many of these are sweeping generalizations and likely based on stereotypes, here are a few things that come to mind:
  • Convenience
  • Quantity over Quality - More is always better, right?  Go big or go home!
  • Longer work hours leaving less time for family, recreation, and fitness
  • Quick Fix - looking for a pill or a shake or a surgery to remedy the situation rather than consistent, persistent, diligent efforts over a longer period of time
  • Scape-Goating - externalizing responsibility for situations rather than looking at individual choices and actions for which the individual can take ownership.
I'm NOT saying that each individual in America embodies any or all of these elements, but rather there is a broader mentality that seems to have permeated the stereotypical American lifestyle.  

For example, people are often on-the-go, running from one thing to the next, often without a moment to spare.  To stay on this tight schedule, they need to have things convenient to them and ready to go.  Cue the drive-thru, the Lunchables, and whatever other pre-packaged, ready-made food options you can think of.  (I'm guilty of this too, with the Lean Cuisine and Smart Ones meals instead of taking the time to actually cook a meal myself.) 

Then there are the meals themselves - over the past decades there's been a documented decline in the quality of ingredients used in preparing restaurant meals and a dramatic increase in the serving size.  People want to get their money's worth at a restaurant and this is often equated with the mass of the food on the plate.

Don't forget the "Protestant work ethic" - Americans work longer hours and get/take less vacation than any other first-world nation, but this is also associated with poorer health and less life satisfaction.  People often compromise their own well-being for the demands of their jobs.  So when does a person have time to exercise or prepare quality meals within this demanding schedule?

With regard to the "quick fix" you only have to tune into a few infomercials for the latest pill or exercise equipment that promises that you'll lose inches effortlessly simply by doing ....  If it was that easy, don't you think doctors would be recommending it?  That there'd be an end to obesity if it really was THAT simple.

Lastly, I think that the scape-goating is more my feeling irritated with the litigious society that we're living in.  I definitely believe that there are systems in place that make it difficult to make healthy choices.  For example, accessing healthier foods in a poverty-stricken urban setting is much more difficult than getting the same foods in a wealthy suburban neighborhood.  And commuting for several hours a day or working two or more jobs means there isn't time to exercise, and that's before we discuss having access to a space where one can actually exercise.  When schools cut their after-school sports and their gym classes, they're taking away opportunities for children to learn how to be fit, as well as the environment where they can do so easily and safely.  Despite all this, however, I find myself getting annoyed when these extreme lawsuits are brought up against big corporations.  This isn't to say that the cases don't have merit, I just feel as though they remove the individual's choices from the equation.  (And this is probably a legal move more than anything.)  I'm reminded of the woman who sued McDonald's because she was burned by her hot coffee.  Yes, there was probably something wrong with the lid, the way the coffee was handed over to her, and the temperature of the coffee, but coffee is meant to be hot and I would expect one to be careful/cautious in anticipation of hot coffee.

Okay, I'm done for the day.  As long as we don't end up like the people in WALL-E.... 

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2 - Ate this cold which was quite refreshing given how blasted hot it was today!
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4 - CHEAT
    • Black bean veggie burger with ketchup, mustard, lettuce, tomato, and onion (no cheese or fries)
    • FUNNEL CAKE!
  • Meal 5 - SKIPPED (Trainer had said that cheat meal takes the place of last two meals of the day)
Exercise: None - planned  
 
Weigh-In: 145.8 / 145.6

Monday, July 4, 2011

Don't Ask...

So I kept it clean while eating at my in-laws today.  I brought all my own food and drink so I could be sure to have clean choices on-hand without getting into drawn-out discussions about what constituted a "clean" meal and why I was choosing to not eat other foods.  Watermelon is not "unclean" or "dirty" but it's not on my plan right now.  I'm not saying it's bad, just that it's not something I'm eating right now.  I got through the evening without incident, though my jug of Crystal Light drew the usual comments about hydration and bathroom-runs.  All that being said....

Don't ask a question if you're not going to listen to the answer.  That's just a pet peeve of mine.  I get rather annoyed when I'm asked about why I'm eating (or not eating) a particular food, just to have my explanation tuned out.  I try to keep my explanations relatively brief and to the point.  I'm not looking to argue with anyone about how I eat.  I'm not looking to convert anyone to the meal plan that I follow.  I have my own plan and I know it wouldn't work for everyone.  It fact, it's not suited for everyone.  Just as someone else's plan is not necessarily suited for me.  If you have questions about the choices I'm making, I'll happily answer them as best as I can.  I'm not a nutritionist, but I have learned a lot about food, dietary plans, and nutritional needs over the years.  If I don't know something, I'll be honest about it.  If I do know something, I'll do my best to educate or explain.  But please do me the courtesy of actually listening in response.

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Peppers and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  60 minutes on the elliptical
  • Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute; Level 4 for 58 minutes; Level 1 for 1 minute
  • Speed:  Between 5.2 and 5.9mph
  • Distance:  5.25+ miles
  • Calories:  700+
Weigh-In: 146.9 / 146.2

2011 - Week 26 In Review

I've been in a really off place these last few days, which is why I haven't posted anything.  I figured it was better to keep my mouth shut than to blather on about things that probably wouldn't make much sense to anyone else.  Heck, they didn't really make sense to me!  Even with my being off, my week was relatively on, so that's something good.

Exercise:  I did 5 cardio sessions this week and they all felt pretty good.  Two of them were for 80 minutes, while I watched Damages (2 episodes per session).  Another was on the stairmill with a new audiobook.  With my 6 days of working out, I topped 4000 calories for the second week in a row!  I'm pretty sore from yesterday's training session, but doing okay.  My shoulders hurt with a few of the exercises (pain, not burn), so I had to modify those movements.
 
I'm not sure how my workouts will go for this week.  Because of being off work today and tomorrow, I'm packing my appointment into 3 longer days.  On top of that, I've got people visiting tomorrow so I may be with company the entire day and not be able to exercise.  I'll still aim for at least 4 days of cardio, but they might not be for as long given what I'm able to squeeze in.

Food: Everything was clean up until dinner last night when we went out for a meal with my cousins.  I didn't turn it into a huge binge or anything and it wasn't horribly "dirty" or anything.  I felt good about what I ate, enjoying the tastes, and leaving the table without feeling uncomfortably full.  My cousins did give me a GIANT bar of Cadbury's chocolate (my favorite) and I had thought about opening it for a dessert last night.  However, knowing myself, once I open that packaging I'll just keep going back for more until it's gone.  Last time, I ate the entire bar in two evenings, and this is 14oz of straight chocolate!  I think I'll save it for my trip to Vegas, which is a planned cheat for 4+ days.  I figure I can have some on each flight and then nibble on it in the hotel room (which we'll hardly be in anyways).


This week's food will be straight-forward again, except for tomorrow.  Today, we're going to my in-laws for dinner.  I've already told them to not bother preparing anything particular for me as I'll just bring all my own food.  I think that's easier than trying to weigh out and portion my mother-in-law's cooking.  And it saves me from having to defend why I'm not eating something that she considers "clean."  Tomorrow, I'll probably be spending most of the day with friends and family.  I may meet up with some friends in the morning, in which case I'll try to bring my own foods or at least a bottle of spray salad dressing if we go out for lunch.  Then the afternoon and evening are with my cousins (including a baseball game that night).  I figure this will be my cheat meal for the week, since my cousin and I HAVE to have our funnel cakes!  Given that the rest of the week is straight-forward and that my husband is out of town for the whole weekend, it shouldn't be too difficult to keep it clean.  I prefer to save my cheat meal for later in the week, just in case something arises, but I'm prioritizing time with my family here and that's what's important to me.


Overall:
I think I just got to feeling burned out and overwhelmed by the end of the week.  I've been trying to be everything to everyone and I just don't have the time or the energy to do that.  And when I feel as though other people are expecting this of me and then not appreciative (or even critical) of what I do offer, I begin to feel resentful.  I was feeling tired, drained, and run-down by the end of the week, so everything seemed like a criticism.  I was getting rubbed the wrong way, no matter what.  Part of my frustration was that the scale didn't seem to budge at all this week (kind of a "let down" after last week).  I try to not put too much stock in the specific number, but when I'm already worn-down and feeling irritated it's hard to not focus on those stupid numbers.

I've been so exhausted these past few days, despite getting a full night's sleep each night.  I took a couple naps yesterday (one was unintentional while I was  reading my book) and I tried to let myself sleep-in as much as I could each day.  I don't think this is from the changes in my diet or anything specific.  Rather, I think it's my body telling me that it's exhausted (physically and, more so, emotionally) and that it needs to take time for itself.  I'm trying to speak up for what I need from others.  I'm trying to set limits for what I'll do, both for others and for myself.  Why do I feel like this is what I'm always working on?
 
SATURDAY
Food Log:

  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  80 minutes on the elliptical
  • Calories:  750 (problems with HR monitor getting accurate read)
Weigh-In: 145.7 / 145.3
 
SUNDAY
Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Peppers and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4 - CHEAT at Chinese Restaurant
    • 1 pan-fried dumpling
    • 1 spicy-tangy wonton
    • Mandarin Chicken (white meat, breaded and sauteed)
    • White rice (maybe a little more than a half cup)
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise: 
  • Time:  1 hour strength training with personal trainer
  • Calories:  350 (again, problems with HR monitor getting accurate read)
Weigh-In: 145.8 / 145.2
 

Friday, July 1, 2011

It's In The Bag


I carry this bag to and from work on a daily basis.  It's LLBean's extra-large "Boat and Tote" bag and measures 18x19x10.  It's a pretty darn huge bag and I hadn't realized how huge when I ordered it.  But, wouldn't you know it, I'm managing to fill it.  But what's in the bag?


Yup, it's my lunch bag!  

I have an insulated bag which carries the majority of my actual food.  That's the brown and striped bag on the left.  (The luggage tag has my name on it so that it's readily identifiable in the fridge at work.)  Inside the cooler goes:
  • Eggs (front right)
  • Cream of Rice (front right, slightly taller container)
  • Veggies, chicken, and coconut oil (container in the center)
  • Greek yogurt and coconut oil (stacked on top of the veggies, etc)
  • Daily vitamins (next to the yogurt)
  • Apple cider vinegar (on the off chance that I remember to have some before lunch)
  • Diet Coke (in case I need a little boost of caffeine)
  • Utensils (spoon, fork, tablespoon for ACV)
  • Packet of Crystal Light (in case I run late in the morning and mix it up at work)
The rest of the bag contains:
  • Thermos of tea (today's chocolate cupcake tea was DELICIOUS!)
  • Travel mug of tea
  • Gallon jug of diluted Crystal light (which I put inside a plastic bag in case there are leaks)
  • "Grown-Up Sippy Cup" (my travel cup with a lid, since I had some spills and splashes)
With all this, the bag fills up quite quickly.  I may also throw in there a few odds-n-ends to take back and forth to the office.  If I've exercised in the morning, I'll put in my metal water bottle since there's probably still some Crystal Light in there.  My purse may lay on-top of everything to help keep my hands free.  The bag can be quite heavy in the morning, primarily because of the daily liquid intake, but I'm able to lug it to and from the car.  Once I get to the office, I unload everything and slide the emptied bag beneath my desk.  While it's a large bag, I do feel that it's easier for me to manage than carrying a bunch of smaller bags.  

I do feel like a bit of a pack-mule at times, but at least I can walk out the door in the morning and know that I've got everything on hand that I'll need to have a clean day, carrying me from breakfast until I get home for dinner.

Food Log:
  • Meal 1
    • 3 egg whites
    • 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
  • Meal 2
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 3
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 4
    • 3 oz chicken
    • Green beans and onions
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
  • Meal 5
    • 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
    • 1 tbsp coconut oil
Exercise:
  • Time:  80 minutes on elliptical
  • Level:  Level 1 the entire time
  • Distance:  5+ miles
  • Average Speed:  4.0 - 4.5
  • Calories: 750
Weigh-In: 146.2 / 145.7