Positive Self-Talk

Everyone has an inner monologue.  When you listen to that voice in your head, how often is it encouraging and how often is it negative or berating?  From my experiences, people are much more likely to be critical of themselves.  I have this "Negative Nancy" pointing out my short-comings and reminding me that I'm not quite good enough.  Even when I make a solid effort, I'm told about how I could have done it better.

Do I believe "Nancy" and her negativity?  Most of the time, no.  When I'm conscious of it and make the effort, I'm able to catch this negativity and put a stop to it.  I'll start to question myself about where this negativity is coming through and I'll try to figure out why it's inaccurate.  Here is a list of cognitive distortions, adapted from David Burns' book Feeling Good: 

• ALL-OR NOTHING THINKING - You see things in black and white categories.  If your performance falls short of perfect, you see yourself as a total failure.
• OVERGENERALIZATION - You see a single negative event as a never-ending pattern of defeat.
• MENTAL FILTER - You pick out a single negative detail and dwell on it exclusively so that your vision of all reality becomes darkened, like a drop of ink in a glass of water.
• DISQUALIFYING THE POSITIVE - You reject positive experiences by insisting they don’t count for some reason.
• JUMPING TO CONCLUSIONS - You make a negative interpretation even though there are no facts that convincingly support your conclusions.
• MIND READING - You arbitrarily conclude that someone is reacting negatively to you (or thinking negatively about you) without checking it out.
• FORTUNE-TELLING - You anticipate that things will turn out badly and you feel convinced that your feeling is an already established fact.
• MAGNIFICATION or MINIMIZATION - You exaggerate or minimize the importance of events or qualities.
• CATASTROPHIZING - Exaggerating the negative outcomes of an event.
• EMOTIONAL REASONING - You assume that your negative feelings reflect the way things really are.  “I feel it, so it must be true.”
• SHOULD STATEMENTS - You try to motivate yourself with such words as should, shouldn’t, must, ought, need to, and have to, as if you have to be punished before you can do anything.  When these statements are directed as ourselves, the emotional consequence is often guilt.  If directed at others, the consequence is often anger, frustration, and resentment.
• LABELING - Instead of objectively looking at an event, you assign a negative label to circumstances and the person(s) involved.
• PERSONALIZATION - You see yourself as the cause of some negative external event when, in fact, you are not primarily responsible for it.

When I have those negative thoughts running through my head (and I'm able to identify them as such), I'm often able to categorize them into one of the above-mentioned categories.  I'll ask myself how strongly I believe these thoughts, because I'll probably notice a theme there.  I'll then ask how these thoughts actually help me work toward my goals - mostly they don't, they undermine my efforts and demoralize me.  With this in mind, I'll remind myself of what it is I do want to accomplish.

While it may sound like being a "PollyAnna" or adopting an artificial outlook, that's not really the case.  Instead, the approach referred to as "cognitive reframing" is about adapting a perspective that is not excessively negative.  For example:

• "I'm a failure for not exercising today" would be overgeneralization and all-or-nothing thinking.  Instead, I might tell myself "It's okay that I took a day off from exercise.  It's only one day and I've been consistent about my exercise in general.  I'll resume exercising tomorrow, after giving myself a well-deserved break."
• "I feel fat" is emotional reasoning.  Instead, I would tell myself that I may feel negatively about my body but that doesn't mean that I've actually gained weight.  I can remind myself of the positive behaviors I've been engaging in and how that's creating actual change in my life.

Sometimes I'll write out the positive statements I can say to myself, targeting the negative thoughts that frequently come up.  I'll post them on the bathroom mirror or on the fridge.  I've had a motivational statement as my screen saver ("What do you hope to accomplish today?").  It can feel as though I'm channeling Yoda or talking like a fortune cookie, but the more I practice positive self-talk the quieter Nancy's negative voice gets.

Food Log: 

• Meal 1 
• 2 egg whites with peppers, onion, and salsa 
• 40g oatmeal
• Meal 2
• Apple
• 1oz almonds
• Light cheese 
• Meal 3
• 3oz chicken
• Green beans
• 2 tablespoons salad dressing
• 40g oatmeal
• 1 tablespoon peanut butter 

(Not much of an appetite today, what with feeling sick and under the weather.)


Exercise: None, because of feeling sick and under the weather

Today's Weigh-In: 144.3 / 142.9