I am SO happy that March is over and done with! Generally speaking, the month sucked more than it didn't. It was a tough month for me on many fronts, but I think I handled it pretty well and made the most of the situation. With everything that's been happening, I've had a hard time focusing on the target behaviors that I have identified for myself. When I work on them, I'm consistent. When I don't work on them, I put my efforts aside with abandon.
I feel as if I've been sick more often than not this month. What I thought was a cold turned into a sinus infection, dual ear infections, and possibly some respiratory infection. On top of this, the infections were treatment resistant and I had to go through two courses of antibiotic before there was any improvement. Obviously, this illness was the biggest challenge for me to face this month. It was a combination of emotional/mental and physical. With being so sick, there's no way I could exercise. I had a hard enough time breathing without being overwhelmed by coughs - I can't imagine what would have happened had I tried to climb on the elliptical!
I think the emotional piece took a greater toll on me. I felt worn-out and burned out. I was tired of being sick and just plain tired. I was so fed-up with being sick that I wanted to do anything that would bring me a bit of comfort or pleasure. I turned to food for this emotional comfort. Part of my justification was that I needed the extra calories to help my body heal. There may have been some truth to this, but not enough to justify the quantity I was consuming! Also, I couldn't eat more protein because of the kidney diet, so what choice did I have but to eat more carbs? The carbs didn't need to be M&Ms and macaroni and cheese, but those carbs are so much more yummy!
I also have been feeling increasingly angry about the whole kidney issue. I stuck with the lower-protein diet as best as I could, though I didn't log my actual protein intake when I wasn't eating clean. I wasn't eating much protein at all during that time, but I was still thinking about how much I was supposed to be eating. I think I also was feeling more frustrated because the next step in resolving this situation is getting closer. Today, I've been collecting my urine for lab work (and that's NOT an April's Fool). Let's just say I'm glad I asked the doctor for two jugs instead of the standard one. Tomorrow will be the delivery of this specimen sample and bloodwork. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that Thursday's appointment will bring good news but I'm not counting on it. Rather, I want answers and explanations in the hopes that I can do some problem-solving.
The trip to New Orleans was when I felt the most uncomfortable with myself. I was definitely still sick and I hadn't planned my clothing options. I felt frumpy as I walked down down Bourbon street. My clothes were snug and un-sexy. I just want the opportunity to go back so I can get a "do over" and be comfortable in my skin (while showing off a little more of it)!
- Goal 1: Be consistent with my exercise routine
- Yeah, that didn't happen. I wanted it to happen, but my body wasn't cooperating. Rather than push myself and possibly exacerbate my illness further, I allowed myself the time off to get healthy. I was away from the elliptical for so long that there were cobwebs on it when I resumed exercising this week. Yikes!
- April is going to be getting back on track again. The calendar looks relatively empty, which I'm grateful for after all the activities of March. I've intentionally kept my workload a bit lighter, in anticipation that there may be doctors' appointments. My hope is that I'll be able to resume my workout routine of 5-6 days/week. All I want to do at this point is regain my conditioning.
- Goal 2: Be consistent with my nutritional program
- I didn't just fall off the wagon this month, I jumped off the wagon and flung myself under its wheels. I was amazed by how easily I slipped back into my eating behaviors of past. My husband asked if I would have difficulty resuming my clean eating after these indulgences. I've been eating clean since Monday and it hasn't been a problem. I think I got the cheating out of my system, and now I feel recharged with my eating efforts.
- As with exercise, April is an opportunity to get back on track with my efforts. Baseball is starting again, so I'll have to plan ahead for my Saturday nights at the ballpark. Unlike the major league parks, you're not allowed to bring outside food into the minor league games. I think it amounts to every other weekend, so it's not that big a deal. I have been giving thought to more cheat meals. Previously, I've taken pride in my not cheating, but I think it took a larger toll on me than I realized. A small cheat here or there is important for my mental health.
- Meal 1
- 2 egg whites
- 40g oatmeal
- Meal 2
- 3oz chicken
- Salad
- 2 tablespoons light salad dressing
- Meal 3
- Apple
- 1oz almonds
- Light cheese
- Meal4
- 3oz chicken
- Salad
- 2 tablespoons light salad dressing
- 40g oatmeal
- 1 tablespoon peanut butter
Exercise:
- Time: 60 minutes
- Level: 1 minute Level 1, 58 minutes Level 2, 1 minute Level 1
- Calories: 650
Today's Weigh-In: 149.5 / 148.6
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