Meeting With The Nutritionist

So I had a consult with a nutritionist today at Johns Hopkins and generally felt it was a waste of time.  She totally didn't take into account my muscle mass or being more athletic. She said that 80g/day of protein already was a high protein diet and she wouldn't recommend more than 60,g but she'll allow me the 80g but nothing more (how generous!).  This completely went against what ALL THREE doctors told me over the past week.  Then she pulled up a 1200 calorie sample meal plan through the American Dietetic Association that she wants me to work with:

Breakfast (1 protein, 3 carb, 1 fat):

1 egg or 1/4 cup egg substitute - how the egg doesn't count as a fat, I don't know

1 slice of toast (or 2 slices low calorie bread)

6oz yogurt or 1 cup skim milk

1 orange

1 tsp margarine - you WANT me to be adding in unhealthy fats?

Lunch (2 protein, 2 carb, 1 fat):

1oz ham, 1oz cheese

2 slices low calorie bread

1 pear

veggies (lettuce, tomatoes, raw broccoli)

1 tsp mayo or 1 tsp miracle whip - MORE unhealthy fats?

Dinner (3 protein, 2 carb, 1 fat):

3oz chicken

1 cup cooked pasta

veggies

2 tbs low fat dressing

Snack (2 carb)

1 cup skim milk

3 squares of graham crackers - That's 1 1/2 sheets, so not even a full serving.

I left the appointment INCREDIBLY irritated and angry!!!  This is a generic cookie-cutter meal plan that doesn't take into consideration any of my specific needs.  First of all, only 1200 calories?  When I'm already burning 600 calories through exercise each day and (according to her) need 1300 calories a day just to maintain my current weight?  I know I said I want to lose some weight, but if I follow this plan I guarantee I'll be hungry, not losing weight, but losing muscle mass.  So she says I can go up to 1500 calories, as long as it's not adding more protein.  I can have "free" foods, like more veggies or a cup of popcorn.  One cup of popcorn?  Seriously?  That's just air, so why bother?  And more veggies?  Did she not hear when I told her my bowel movements are green and when I pass gas it smells like a salad? (Sorry if that's TMI.)

I don't have as much energy as I used to, I'm hungry more often, I don't have the same endurance, and I feel like I've been losing strength and muscle mass.  And every medical professional I've spoken with has readily agreed that I'm perfectly healthy in every other way that I can be healthy.  In fact, my lifestyle is ideal, with the exception of this one difficulty of processing protein which may not be so big a deal anyways.  So how is a 1200-1500 generic diet supposed to help me?  She kept talking about the importance of eating a balanced diet and not stressing too much over the protein, just not eating too much protein.  Huh?  And she couldn't point out how my current diet is imbalanced, except that she suggested I have another carb with lunch or consider yogurt.  When I pointed out that these suggestions would result in the overall increase in calories as well as the increase in protein, she went back to parroting the line about a balanced diet.  And how is my diet imbalanced?  If you can't explain to me what's wrong or lacking in my current diet or how your proposed diet is supposed to improve my health or help me reach my goals, I have a hard time understanding why I should go with your suggestions.

Then she gives me a "nutrition therapy for endurance athletes" handout but doesn't want me to follow it because it has too much protein in it.  Hello?  I don't have renal disease!  The doctor I saw on Wednesday said I didn't have to worry about restricting protein and to defer to a nutrition specialist who would take into consideration the fact that I'M AN ATHLETE and have different nutritional needs, INCLUDING MORE PROTEIN.

I was so upset after this meeting!  I was crying and yelling in the car as I drove into the office.  Once I got to work, I closed myself in my office so as to not see anyone.  I started to do some research and make some phone calls.  I continued to feel upset and began to feel sick.  I took a nap on my little couch rather than attend the staff meeting.  And, I gave myself a migraine.  I canceled my only appointment of the day and left early because there was no way I could make it through the meeting and do either of us any benefit.  So I drove home and, on the way, pulled over and vomited on the shoulder.  Once I got home, I slept for about 3 hours and started to feel a bit more human again.  I also was able to regain my focus and talk things through with my husband.

So here's what I'm going to do:  I'm putting calls into "sports nutritionists" but they're hard to find.  I'm working on that.  Meanwhile, I'm working with my trainer and his wife to create my own meal plans to figure out what works for me while being aware of the protein element.  Here are the ratios that I found based on the recommendations for someone who's moderately active:

Carbs - 5g/kg would put me at 325g/day

Protein - 1.5g/kg would put me at 97.5g/day

Fat - 1g/kg would put me at 45g/day

All based on my weighing 65kg (or about 143, which is about 6 pounds less than where I'm at right now).  This would have me eating about 2000 calories a day.  If I re-work it to 1500 calories a day, I would look for a breakdown of:

220g carb (880 calories)

90g protein (360 calories)

30g fat (270 calories)

So we're going to work-up something that's in the ballpark of the 1500.  Until we get that plan in place, I'm continuing to go with the 80g/day plan that I've been following since February.  I want to come up with something "balanced" that will be sustainable and healthy, being aware of strains on my kidneys but not keeping me from reaching my fitness goals

I'm just feeling really down and disappointed right now, like I've been told that I can't go back to having the body I had last summer.  I can't be muscular and lean.  I can't be strong.  So I'm "one hot mess" right now, pretty angry, and kinda wallowing and feeling sorry for myself.  I'm trying really hard to not let this get me down, but I'm definitely feeling worn-down after 4 months of this circus.  In the grand scheme of things, I know things aren't that bad.  If it's between being healthy and looking good in a bikini, I'll choose being healthy.  But why can't I have both?

Thanks for reading my vent!  :)

Food Log:

• Meal 1 (most of which was left on the shoulder of Route 29)
• 2 egg whites
• 40g oatmeal
• Meal 2
• Apple
• 1oz almonds
• Light cheese
• Meal 3
• 6oz chicken 
• Green beans
• 2 tablespoons light salad dressing
• 40g oatmeal
• Tablespoon peanut butter

Exercise: None - I had planned to exercise this evening but the migraine totally wiped me out.

Today's Weigh-In:  150.0 / 149.7