Today's Dear Abby

DEAR ABBY: When I go out to eat with my girlfriends, I usually enjoy myself until it comes time for dessert. Then I get grief if I don't order any and they do.

They'll say, "Oh, you're so tiny. You can eat it." Conversely, if I do order something, they tell me, "Well, I'd love some but my metabolism isn't as high as yours."

I have never made comments to them about calorie counting, needing to work out or concern about my weight. I feel fitness is a private matter, and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion. Is there any way to respectfully and tactfully respond to their comments or redirect the conversation?

- Takes the Cake in Flagstaff, Ariz.

DEAR TAKES THE CAKE: The way you said it in your letter is perfect: "I feel fitness is a private matter and I'm not comfortable with mine being the topic of discussion."

Either state it when they comment on what you have ordered, or say it privately to each of your friends.

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This is an interesting letter that I can relate to.  Now I can be pretty open about working out and nutrition, but I don't talk about it over meals.  I don't say "Oh, I can't eat that." I don't talk about counting calories or being on a diet.  When I'm offered dessert or we're going out to eat, I may say that I'm choosing to eat clean.  When dessert rolls around, I may decline, share with someone, or order hot tea instead.  I'll then joke that I add enough Splenda to my tea that it's a dessert in and of itself.

WEDNESDAY:

Food Log:

• Meal 1
• 3 egg whites
• 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
• Meal 2
• 3 oz chicken
• Green beans
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• Meal 3
• 3oz Chicken
• Peppers and Onions
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• Meal 4
• 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
• 1 tbsp coconut oil

Exercise: NONE (Planned)

 

Weigh-In: 150.3 / 148.9

 

THURSDAY:

Food Log:

• Meal 1
• 3 egg whites
• 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
• Meal 2
• 3 oz chicken
• Peppers and onions
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• Meal 3
• 3oz Chicken
• Green beans
  
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• Meal 4
  
• 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
• 1 tbsp coconut oil

Exercise: NONE (Allowed myself to get stuck at work longer than planned)
 
Weigh-In: 148.1 / 148.1