Monday, July 25, 2011

Throwing In The Towel (For The Day)

I'm blaming it on my menstrual cycle - at least that's my excuse for today's behaviors.  It actually started at the movies last night when I opted for the small popcorn and fruit snacks.  This morning, I entered the kitchen and just wanted to EAT.  I wasn't hungry, but I wanted to eat and eat and eat.  I must say that one good thing about having few "unclean" foods in the house is that it makes it very difficult to cheat.  But that's one of the frustrating things as well!  I don't even remember what all I put in my mouth today, but it was mostly peanut butter and almonds.  There were some treats that I dug out from the back of the cabinet.  And then there was the roasted pepper and tomato soup that I bought for dinner along with some cous cous.

Why did I do this?  Some of this may truly have been hormonal, as I was hit with my period today (sorry if this is TMI).  I'm not sure why, but it seems to have hit me harder this month than it has recently.  I've just been feeling bloated and crampy and "sludgy" (as I like to put it).  

On top of that, there was a big element of "Why bother?"  We're going to Canada for a long weekend and I already know that I won't be able to keep it clean the entire time (no fridge in the room and I haven't found a reasonable plug-in/portable cooler).  So if I won't be able to be on-plan for those four days, why stress about being on-plan between now and then?  Now, I know that's not a healthy (or rational) attitude, but that's the one I've had for the last week. 

I'm also rethinking my goals and efforts.  At the very least, I want to be able to maintain.  Instead of pushing to the next level, I want to strive for better balance in my life.  I have a lot going on at work right now and there's a lot of growth happening with my career.  I'm also looking to make some other positive additions/changes to my life and want to make sure that they cooperate with my fitness and nutrition efforts (and vice versa).  I think I'm trying to wrap my brain around it all right now as I try to figure out how I want to make everything work while making everything work and keeping my sanity.

I may be revising my cardio, having it be at a lower intensity but for a longer duration.  The only catch there is that I need to have the larger chunks of time to exercise.  With eating, I'm going to keep things generally clean (with days like today notwithstanding).  I do want to make space in there for my cheat meals and my date nights with my husband.  (Yes, I really enjoyed my treats at the movie theatre on Sunday evening along with hubby company.)

So I'm going to try and keep my eating on the healthier side, but I'm not going to stress it this up-coming weekend when we're traveling.  I'm aiming for regular exercise and want to focus more on the consistency rather than the intensity.  (This week may just be 2 sessions since there's work and travel.)  Above all, I want to make time for all aspects of my life, so that I can continue to grow and build on these opportunities/experiences.

While I haven't been posting as much, I have been thinking about what I want to write and share with others.  I just wish there was a quicker way to take what's in my head and put it on the screen!

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