A Letter To My Trainer

I've been talking with my trainer recently about how to refocus my efforts.  Here's where things stand:

From my trainer:

Alright fluff [NOTE: This is not an insult coming from him but more an affectionate teasing], so what's the plan?  Meaning, what do you think you want to try to do moving forward, taking all of your goals and current situation into account (trying for kid, getting leaner, wanting a weekly cheat meal, blah blah blah).  I can tell you're growing increasingly frustrated, which is frustrating for ME to watch, because I know how easy it has been for you in the past (relatively speaking).  What I'd like you to do is come up with your OWN proposal, and let me help flesh it out.  You don't need to write a diet plan, just a general idea of "what you think you'd like to do, now, moving forward".  Get me some thoughts on that, and we'll start working on something.

My response:

I've been mulling this over and trying to figure out just what my goals are right now.  I guess it might be easier to frame each of my goals within the context of my frustrations.  

I think my frustrations go back to the beginning of the year and all my kidney-related adventures.  Last summer, I felt like I was kicking butt with everything - I was lean and strong with my weight at an all-time low (137).  Over the fall, I allowed myself to get a little fluffy with the holidays.  My plan had been to de-fluff after Thanksgiving but the whole protein limitation put a real kink in that.

Obviously, I'm going to prioritize my overall health and follow the lower protein diet.  I just get frustrated when I know that I could lose 10 pounds relatively easily just by increasing the protein in my diet.  So I'm rethinking my weight-related goals within the context of this limitation.  So far this year, the lowest I've been down to is in the 142 range and even that was tough for me to reach.  I think, at this point, I'd like to get there again though I'm okay with the 145 range if it helps me find balance within other areas.

With my meal plan, I'm generally happy with how I'm eating but I'm unsure as to if it's really sustainable for the rest of my life.  I do miss the planned variety of the "fat" and "carb" days that I was eating last summer.  Is there some way to reintroduce some different plans that I can rotate on a daily basis?  Maybe some steak, eggs, oatmeal, or peanut butter in there?  I definitely like the ease of eating the same thing every day but think I may feel a little less frustrated or "robotic" if I knew I could I could spice things up a little during the week.

Keeping the cheat meals in there is really important to me.  I think another source of frustration is that so many of my friends' social activities seem to revolve around food.  With only one cheat meal a week, I feel like I have to pick and choose which social engagements I participate in.  I'm already busy during the week and don't see my friends as much as I'd like.  I really don't want to find myself being more socially isolated because of a meal plan.  Yes, I know I can make "cleaner" choices at restaurants, but I'm more limited when going over to friends' houses or taking plans on the fly.  I'm generally comfortable with bringing my own foods, but it's not always feasible and I don't want to feel deprived as I watch everyone else enjoying their eats.  It can really contribute to my feeling on the outside at times and I think it also discourages people from thinking to include me in their plans.

One of the top goals for me right now is getting pregnant and having a healthy pregnancy.  I'm not wanting to go all crazy with this - if it's going to happen it's going to happen.  That being said, I want to make sure that my eating and exercising support this goal.  I don't know what impact this will have on other goals, but I'd say that this takes a higher priority than those other goals.  I think I told you about how someone said "Why bother [trying to lose weight] when you're just going to get pregnant and get fat again?"  I don't want to have a fat pregnancy, I want to have a healthy and balanced pregnancy that I can enjoy.

I'm not sure what your thoughts are regarding how I'm doing fitness- and strength-wise.  I know I've been off-routine lately and I think I've lost some strength/conditioning because of this.  My cardio basically is what it is.  I think going for 5 days of cardio each week is a bit over-reaching given my schedule, but I really should be able to fit 4 days in.  What are your thoughts on replacing one of those cardio days with a second day of strength training, either solo or with you?  I'd like to do something different, and maybe that's the kind of different that I'm looking for.  I'm looking at ways to maintain my heart rate at 140 or lower while exercising, to get a sense of what it would be like for while pregnant.  I'm happy with the elliptical, as it's easy and convenient in the house but I'm open to considering other types of cardio provided I can work them into my schedule relatively easily.

I think a lot of my recent frustration can also be attributed (in part) to:

- being out of routine (I am SUCH a creature of habit!)

- having more weekend activities that had a "trickle-down" effect on my weekday activities

- having a hard time getting together with friends because of everyone's schedules

- hormones

- just feeling overwhelmed with everything I'm trying to do in all the different aspects of life

I know I can be a real perfectionist - no matter what I do it will never be good enough.  There's always more I can do, but I'm trying to accept that I can't do everything.  It would probably be fair to say that a lot of my frustration comes from a lack of balance in my life.  So perhaps an over-arching goal would be to find a better balance among all the different aspects in my life.

Food Log:

• Meal 1
• 3 egg whites
• 50g dry cream of rice (cooked in water)
• Meal 2
• 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
•  
• Meal 3
• 3 oz chicken
• Peppers and onions
• 1 tbsp coconut oil
• Meal 4
• 0% flavored Chobani Greek Yogurt
• 1 tbsp coconut oil

Exercise:

• Time:  60 minutes on the elliptical
• Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute; Level 2 for 49 minutes; Level 1 for 10 minutes
• Average Speed:  5.3 mph for first 50 minutes; 4.0 for last 10 minutes
• Distance:  5 miles
• Calories:  750+
• Completed 5K in 36 minutes

 

Weigh-In: 151.4 / 150.6