Where Have I Been?

Yup, that little fur-ball looks like I feel!  

Over the past couple of weeks, I've been really struggling to keep on track.  My weight is up to the mid-150s.  I haven't been exercising regularly.  While I've generally been eating clean, my weekends have been a bit off-plan.  Motivation has been waxing and waning, depending on the day of the week.  I've been trying to keep things in perspective - my world doesn't revolve around the number on the scale, but I'd be lying if I said the number doesn't bother me.  Others may not notice it, but I'm definitely aware that my clothes are fitting a little bit tighter.  I know what I need to do to bring that number back down again, but I don't know if I'm willing to do everything that it takes at the moment.

My trainer is re-working my meal plan so that it has a bit more variety built into it.  My hope is that this adds some extra flavor to my day-to-day eating and helps me feel less deprived or restricted.  I know it may take some further effort on my part with food preparation, but I think it's worth it if it helps me stay focused with working toward my goals.

With my cardio, I'm trying to get some variety in there.  However, that variety takes extra effort on my part what with getting to the gym which can make things difficult.  Last Thursday, I wanted to get to the gym for a class at 8:30pm and just didn't make it.  I left the office a bit later than planned (surprise!) and knew I just wouldn't make it on time. Instead, I made a pre-hurricane trip to the grocery store and headed home.  Then Friday was an unanticipated dinner with friends instead of the gym.  Amazing how things easily pop up to interfere with my plans!  One of the biggest blocks is my own mood and mental state.  I'm trying to take care of myself, which means finding a balance between pushing myself to workout and allowing myself to take a break.  Lately, I've been feeling the need for more breaks than butt-busting.

I think part of my struggle is that I don't have a clear goal that I'm working toward at this time.  I feel like I'm hanging in limbo.  Previously, I've had vacations or concerts in place as concrete dates that helped to anchor my goals.  Maybe that's something I need to reassess.

Regardless of what the scale says at this time, I'm doing things to try and take care of myself.  I'm generally a happy camper, just dealing with a few frustrations in the mix.  As long as I keep that in mind, it's all good!