Monday, February 28, 2011

Don't Stress The Stress

Today was an exasperating day.  I had a lot of deadlines on my plate and everything seemed to be working against me.  I must have spent five hours entering and re-entering information into a website because it kept losing (or not saving) the material.  Then I got kicked out and haven't been able to reliably log back in to finish.  So there was much yelling and cursing at the computer as I felt my stress level rise over the course of the day.  I was tempted to grab some of the cookies out of the pantry and just chow down on them, but I knew that wouldn't help relieve my stress and would ultimately leave me feeling worse off.

How did I deal with the stress?  In the moment, I chomped on a bunch of mints and hard candies, I chewed gum, and I drank a bunch of diet soda and tea.  I reminded myself that there was only so much that I could do.  I fantasized about reaming out the IT people who manage the bleeping website that was tormenting me.  And, most importantly, I worked at compartmentalizing.

The workday has to end at some point and that ending point is mostly up to me.  I make the choice as to when to put the computer down, when to stop returning phone calls, and when to stop scheduling appointments.  I chose a time for when I would close up the laptop and set it aside for the night (at least regarding work-related activities).  I then climbed on the elliptical and let all that frustration go.

This got me thinking about all the types of stress that can be encountered in the course of everyday life.  Basically, if there's an activity, relationship, or thought, there can be stress around it.  Here are some areas of stress that I generally encounter:
  • Work - My job revolves around other people.  I genuinely like what I do, but it's possible to experience "care-giver burnout" (to steal the term from my masseuse).  I try very hard to meet the needs of many people and there's only so much that I can do.  There's always more that I can do and it's difficult for me to say "no" and turn down requests.
  • Familial Relationships - Parents, in-laws, extended family, no matter how much you love them, they come with stress.  Unfortunately, it can be difficult to set boundaries with relatives and contain that stress.  I try to distance myself at times, to allow myself a time-out from family-related activities and issues.  I'm also working on improving my filter, so that I'm not sharing topics that then open myself up to criticisms.
  • Married Life - My husband and I have been married for nearly 10 years and have been together for about 18.  I'm really fortunate that there's not much stress in our relationship.  I won't pretend that things are perfect, but they're pretty darn good.  There are times when stress reared up between us, but we're able to work things out.
  • Friends and Co-workers - Interpersonal relationships can be a breeding ground for stress.  It can depend on the boundaries, expectations, and shared activities.  Sometimes other people are unaware of the impact they can have, not realizing that they may be contributing to stress.  As with the family, I'm working on better-managing my relationships.  This may involve limiting my exposure to certain people, selecting particular activities that are easier to share with less stress, and (again) improving my personal filter.
  • Health - Aside from the whole kidney issue, making time for exercise and sticking with a clean diet can be somewhat stressful (while being rewarding and beneficial).  I try to relieve some of the stress by planning in advance so I don't feel as pressured with meal preparation.  If I've got easy-to-grab food on hand, I don't feel as overwhelmed.  The main thing is to schedule the time for each of these activities, remind myself that this is something I'm choosing to do for myself, and allow myself some slack if I don't do it perfectly.  It's meant to add to my life, not stress me out.
  • Everyday Life - Sometimes stress just happens.  No matter how well-laid my plans may be, there's no rule that says life has to follow them.  I can be a real control-fiend at times, but I'm working to improve my flexibility and adaptability.  I think I'm better able to roll with the punches than I used to be.
Yesterday, I had a little bit of a meltdown after the gym and my husband commented that he had been waiting for this to hit.  He said that he could see that I was right on the edge for a while and knew that I was barely holding it together.  I try to keep a hold on things, but it's not always doable.  Sometimes the stress does get to me.  I can recognize when I'm more vulnerable to stress, even if I can't avoid it.  I work hard to remind myself that I'm allowed to feel stressed, I'm allowed to feel overwhelmed, and I'm allowed to take steps to manage or reduce the stress triggers in my life.

Food Log:

  • Meal 1
    • 2 egg whites with peppers, onion, and salsa
    • 40g oatmeal
  • Meal 2
    • 3oz chicken
  • Meal 3
    • Apple
    • 1oz almonds
    • Light cheese
  • Meal 4
    • 3oz chicken 
    • Green beans
    • 40g oatmeal
    • Tablespoon peanut butter
Exercise:
  • Time: 92 minutes on the elliptical
  • Level:  Level 1 for 1 minute, Level 5 for 85 minutes, Level 1 for 6 minutes
  • Distance:  8 miles
  • Calories:  975+
Today's Weigh-In:  143 / 141.9 - I've decided to simply record the high and low weigh-ins I get each day instead of trying to figure out which one is the "right" number.

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